An uproar raises through the crowd, one of agreement. We all yearn for the chance to actually go to war, and we accept their answer.
I, on the other hand, feel extremely uncomfortable. Eradicate? Gadun has done nothing wrong, has it? Perhaps I don’t know this information only because I was a Gadunan citizen- but still, as far as I know, they are innocent.
Except for the hundred murdered.
“Did you understand it?” Rilaki asks.
I smile, warm affection overtaking my other thoughts. “Yes, I did.” she beams in response, her pride for me glowing.
She bursts. “You’re finally learning Holkein!”
“It’s a beautiful language.” I say, feeling as if I am as high as the clouds. This is exactly what I wanted- acceptance. I am finally starting to become one of the people here, a Holkein. Gadun was nothing but hatred and prejudice, whereas these people gave me a fair chance. I could fit in here.
I could fit in a place of war.
“Here,” Rilaki gleams, taking my hand. “I want to show you something.”
We rush out of the crowded Centre hand in hand, with her leading the way. We get a few stray glances, but nothing major enough to stop us. Sprinting down hallways, running down sharp turns, we reach the dormitories.
“Those are for those at rank Seven, like you.” Rilaki points out.
That makes me stop. A rank Seven? “What are ranks?”
“People who first start out are automatically a rank Seven. They need to go through their first Test, which usually isn’t for two weeks after they come, in order to advance to the next rank. There are different requirements for advancement, but you shouldn’t worry about that right now.
“These are the rooms for rank Fives.”
Rooms? So I wouldn’t have to stay in these miserable living quarters, if I simply advanced. Rilaki seems to read my mind. “Advancing a rank is much more difficult than you believe.” she states; my hopes deflate. She pushes open a door, and ushers me inside.
“This is where I sleep.”
The room is about half the size of the small, concrete room five others and I have to sleep in. This is a luxury to my expectations. It’s circular, with a large dome as the ceiling. The walls are the same grey as mine- but not the grey of concrete, but the grey of metal. Screws attach each panel of metal to the backwall, which is most likely concrete as well.
Her bed isn’t small, but it seems fitting for her thin frame. Layers after layers of blankets and pillows adorne her bed, each a pale white, in comparison to her stark black bedframe. No pictures or words are written on them; Holkei doesn’t approve of it. The pillars on her bed are cylindrical, and are the same color as her sheets.
There is a small semi-circle desk, which slides perfectly in the side of the room. It’s almost completely empty, save a hologram of the scenery outside. The pine tree that’s the entrance to this city of clouds, and the mountains of snow below.
Snow.
I haven’t seen snow since I was a child, vacationing in the North with Citizen Deqir Hakinm. I remember it being grey and dreary, like colder, solid rain. But this snow- it’s as white as the clouds. It seems as if I could sleep on it, save for the cold. Something claws at me, though.
“Does Holkei have a Wall for themselves built?” I question. Rilaki smiles, but it fades as soon as she realizes that I’m not joking.
“Holkei and Gadun are quite different. Gadun’s Wall was forged out of slavery and misery, blood and tears. Many died then- although your history books never showed it, for it reflects badly on the country. Most Gadunans don’t have the capacity to question where it came from- only that it’s there and it keeps them safe from the extreme pollution outside.
“Had their Wall not been constructed, Gadun would have died many hundreds of years ago. Nuclear waste from… the Third World War, they called it, had breached the atmosphere and replaced rain itself. Had their Wall not been constructed, people would have been massacred by radiation poisoning- more and more would flood the hospitals, coming back day after day, only to be ‘cured’ again and for their suffering to be prolonged.
“So, the only reasonable solution would be to create a wall. However, instead of creating it using holograms, as we did, Gadun enslaved hundreds of thousands of those who weren’t perfect enough to create one out of acid-repellant brick and stone. Tens of thousands died from one incident alone. Yet Gadun allowed it.
“Holkei did not want to stoop to such low levels- enslaving their citizens would bring the already-low population down to a miniscule. We instead invented holograms, and created a shield using them. None of our people died from the creation of our Barrier.
“This is why Gadun must be stopped.”
At that moment Cernum bursts in before I can give any thought to what Rilaki had just said. He frantically looks around the room, and when he spots me, he gives a visible sigh of relief.
“Weren’t you checking your Holo?”
My eyes narrow in question. “The thing that shows me the schedule?”
“Yes, that, idiot.” he notices Rilaki sitting next to me by her desk, and shakes his head. “Anyway, we’ve been called for a scouting. Grab your Holo and go to Centre immediately.”
My eyes meet Rilaki’s, and I give her an expression of apology as I sprint out the door to follow Cernum. He’s surprisingly fast, or perhaps I’m surprisingly slow. Either way, we manage to reach Centre quickly, and he gestures for me to enter the dark room where he had been practicing earlier.
“Here’s the rifle in which you were using yesterday, and put on that suit.” he hurriedly says, and grabs one of his own. I change into the suit, which melts into a mixture of white and grey. A little under my right shoulder, there’s a space for me to insert my small Holo. I still need to figure out how to use it for its maximum extent.
As soon as I do so, it flashes my name and rank. I survey the room, and notice four others, and Katorgora. She yells at us to get in formation; after watching them all quickly stand in a straight line, I take my place at the end of the line.
“Zeygrifth, rank Four.” Katorgora barks, and the girl at the opposite side saluts. Katorgora accepts this, and moves on. “Heinlk, rank Five. Jurnaime, rank Five. Subilarko, rank Six.” The boy next to Cernum repeats the gesture that Zeygrifth did, but a lot slower. Katorogora, annoyed, pulls out her taser and electrifies him. Hundreds of years old, yet still quite effective. “Again. Subilarko, rank Six.”
This time Subilarko brings his hand up to his forehead faster than Zeygrifth had. Katorgora carries on. “Deisnuk, rank Seven.” she states, and Cernum just barely makes it past her allotted time. “Anarmi, rank Seven.”
I pass with flying colors.
“Today we are armed, but we are not using them. This is simply a scouting,” Katorgora pointedly looks at Juriname, and continues. “So we are not to ever push the trigger until my command through the headset. We are to travel to Gadun in a Gadunan helicopter, and land inside its capital, Shilnimg. We are tourists, traveling from the far reaches of the Eastern World to visit Gadun in all its glory. During the seven hour trip it takes to get from our location to the Eastern World, and to Gadun, you are to memorize your covers.
“Our objective is to find out Gadun’s response to our declaration and see how it affects their country.”
Time flies by as we trudge to the helicopter. Rather, as I trudge to the helicopter, Cernum and the others seem perfectly fine in this freezing weather.
“How c-can you do t-that?” I stammer, and Cernum grins.
“It’s not that cold.” My eyebrows narrow in anger as I remember him saying something similar when I first came to Minolta and asked the exact same question.
The helicopter slowly comes in sight, and I sigh in relief at the thought of warmth. I’m the first one inside, and I relax more and more as the seconds morph into minutes; hours. The six of us are in a seperate room in the back, and we talk and chatter as if we aren’t going to the country of our enemy.
My home country.
“I’m bored,” Subilarko groans, laying on the cold metal ground. He looks around the benches to see tired nods of agreement. “Seven hours is so lo-”
Zeygrifth snorts. Her high ponytail swings in the air as she laughs. “I’ve been on way longer.”
“Such as?” Cernum pops up, silent until now.
“Such as, Deisnuk, a trip to the Eastern World. Seventeen hours. Can anyone top that?” Her black eyes narrow, and only then I notice how much they resemble a hawk’s. Nobody responds, although Juriname rolls his eyes. After a moment of silence he speaks up, his voice as deep and gravelly as the Earth’s itself.
“Arguing about plane rides isn’t on our covers.”
I shake my head in agreement, and say something for the first time. “No, it’s not- where even are our covers?”
“On our Holos, idiot.” Heinlk glares at me, looking up from her Holo.
“Heinlk not staring mindlessly at her Holo- such a rare and precious sight.” Juriname remarks, and Cernum snickers. Heinlk stands up and meets Juriname face to face, which is hard, considering he’s quite taller and stockier than she. Her pale blue eyes pierce his brown ones as they have a silent, seething argument. His dark skin glimmers in the faint light.
“Break it up, he’s right,” Zeygrifth starts, smirking. “For once.” Juriname glares at her and opens his mouth to reply, but closes it once he sees her death stare. “Anyway, we’re tourists that don’t know each other, complete and total strangers. We’re here on a five-night trip from the Eastern World, more specifically ,, and we’re in a tour group together; with Katorgora as our guide.
“Our first stop is the Shilnimg Gallery, where we are to sneak into the basement without anybody noticing us, plant this,” Zeygrifth holds up a petite silver cube, her tall frame looking down on us. “And pretend we were lost. Katorgora would have left to go use the restroom during that time.
“Any questions?” she smirks, confidence radiating off of her like light does off the sun. I say nothing, mesmerized by her words. After a moment of silence, Cernum realizes something.
“What the hell are these suits for?”
“They meld into whatever clothing style we need.” Heinlk responds, bored. “Speaking of, does this look Eastern enough?”
I lay my eyes on her, and gasp in wonder. She’s morphed into a dark beauty, her hair as black as night, her skin as dark as dirt. Her hazel eyes glance across the room attentively.
“More Southeastern, but it works.” Juriname’s eyes smile. Zeygrifth holds her head in her hand.
“Of course, I forgot..” she mutters to herself, and fiddles with her Holo.
“How is this possible?” I ask nobody in particular. Heinlk chuckles.
“Simple. You program your Holo with the looks you want, and alters your suit, mimicking the look of a different person’s. It’s quick, effective, and almost invincible.”
Five hours later, each of us are completely different people, and we’re out of the airport in Shilnimg.
“This is the beautiful Center of the Capital.” Katorgora smiles, letting us all take this in.
It looks exactly like I remember it.
Artificial green grass in precisely placed rectangles scatters the road. The Arisium, a vine - like plant loops around the bottom of the bulletproof glass dome covering it all. The domes are a new development though, for as a child I would always dance with arisiums in the middle of the road.
Deqir would always get annoyed, but look the other way whenever I danced. Arisiums would be standing at the time, rather than laying down, oppressed. As I walk by, I put my hand on the dome, and one jumps up, recognizing me.
The flowers on its stem are a brilliant fuchsia, making me wonder if these plants are actually native to Gadun. I smile at it, and it bounces back.
“Miss, do not touch the dome.” a guard announces. A guard? They're patrolling the people now, in fear of someone being a traitor. I turn my attention to the guard, and smile sheepishly.
“I have never seen one of these before,” I lie, playing the ‘ignorant tourist’ card. “In the East we-”
“It seems like your group is leaving.” he responds pointedly.
“Oh- thanks you!” I respond in a terrible accent.

Awesome chapter!

This world you've created is really interesting, and I think my main critique would be to explain it more? I had a couple of instances where I was a little confused as to what was being described, such as with the Arisiums. You describe them as “a vine - like plant loops around the bottom of the bulletproof glass dome covering it all.” This I can understand, though then it is mentioned that “one jumps up, recognizing me.” It took me a couple re-reads to get the idea of a vine ‘jumping up’ clear in my head, and that can slow the story down, so I would recommend describing this interaction more so that the reader has a clearer picture of the scene. The same goes for any other scene in general where you're describing something abstract or unique to your world– they just need a little extra clarification.

Also, I wasn't sure if this was just a paragraphing issue, but I find that it's easier to understand what's going on if you group character actions into their own paragraphs. It took me a little moment to realize in this section:

I smile, warm affection overtaking my other thoughts. “Yes, I did.” she beams in response, her pride for me glowing.
She bursts. “You’re finally learning Holkein!”

That the “she” was not the speaker, and it took me a moment to organize in my head who was doing and saying what. It may just be a stylistic thing and isn't exactly wrong, it might just be easier to understand if it was organized more like this:

I smile, warm affection overtaking my other thoughts. “Yes, I did.”
Rilaki beams in response, her pride for me glowing. She bursts. “You’re finally learning Holkein!” "

Because then the action of Rilaki beaming is not accidentally associated with the speaker. So in general, grouping a character's actions into their own paragraphs generally helps to clarify who is doing what.

All in all, this story looks awesome!! I loved what I read, and with a little more clarification/explanation in parts, it would be even better. Hope this helped!