Discuss Scratch

cheese-duck
Scratcher
1000+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

ForeverAnAuthor wrote:

Guys we should start sharing pieces again.

Okay, I'll start us off with something short that I wrote heh.


snip


*Note: I wrote this a year ago, so hopefully it makes some sense. xD
Bro
I loved that.

Le Mon ShopShayminmeful self-advertising for a thing that's kinda deadSide accountPokémon Fangames/Fakémon Topic
i just found out that the bubble guppies aren't even guppies

hey, i messed up suicune's head thing
clawthirtythree
Scratcher
100+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

How do y'all think about this;

So there's this world where people live. Underground, there's massive caves full of microchips, with each microchip each containing its own “intelligence”. These Intelligences are able to use a simple OS(Like, Windows or something) and also use a basic chat program. They have human-level intelligence, and are able to communicate with them, but they're never able to go to the physical world. They're only confined to their computer. They can also do stuff like make art, and even code.

Humans can also upload themselves into a microchip. They won't be able to experience what the Intelligence experiences, but they can still communicate with each other.

Smelly goat man
ForeverAnAuthor
Scratcher
100+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

cheese-duck wrote:

Bro
I loved that.

Tysm! And tips or criticism? I'd love some.

Friends are like stars… You don't always see them…
But they are always there for you
cheese-duck
Scratcher
1000+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

Hey yall dumb question
I'm trying to (re-)name a character. His brother's name is Ariolus and I was going for both of them being named after moons of Uranus. Any suggestions? Preferrably not starting with a vowel.
Or should I just use some other planet's moons

Le Mon ShopShayminmeful self-advertising for a thing that's kinda deadSide accountPokémon Fangames/Fakémon Topic
i just found out that the bubble guppies aren't even guppies

hey, i messed up suicune's head thing
Reine_Regina
Scratcher
33 posts

Writing Advice and Tips

cheese-duck wrote:

Hey yall dumb question
I'm trying to (re-)name a character. His brother's name is Ariolus and I was going for both of them being named after moons of Uranus. Any suggestions? Preferrably not starting with a vowel.
Or should I just use some other planet's moons
Caliban.

b u m p
hello, fellow hooman beans
cheese-duck
Scratcher
1000+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

Reine_Regina wrote:

cheese-duck wrote:

Hey yall dumb question
I'm trying to (re-)name a character. His brother's name is Ariolus and I was going for both of them being named after moons of Uranus. Any suggestions? Preferrably not starting with a vowel.
Or should I just use some other planet's moons
Caliban.
cool thanks i'll consider it

Le Mon ShopShayminmeful self-advertising for a thing that's kinda deadSide accountPokémon Fangames/Fakémon Topic
i just found out that the bubble guppies aren't even guppies

hey, i messed up suicune's head thing
Viiceroy
Scratcher
1000+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

cheese-duck wrote:

Hey yall dumb question
I'm trying to (re-)name a character. His brother's name is Ariolus and I was going for both of them being named after moons of Uranus. Any suggestions? Preferrably not starting with a vowel.
Or should I just use some other planet's moons
hey quick tip and it's up to you but haha you might wanna rethink the name ariolus

cheese-duck
Scratcher
1000+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

Viiceroy wrote:

cheese-duck wrote:

Hey yall dumb question
I'm trying to (re-)name a character. His brother's name is Ariolus and I was going for both of them being named after moons of Uranus. Any suggestions? Preferrably not starting with a vowel.
Or should I just use some other planet's moons
hey quick tip and it's up to you but haha you might wanna rethink the name ariolus
is there some sort of bad association with it or does it just sound dumb

Le Mon ShopShayminmeful self-advertising for a thing that's kinda deadSide accountPokémon Fangames/Fakémon Topic
i just found out that the bubble guppies aren't even guppies

hey, i messed up suicune's head thing
Viiceroy
Scratcher
1000+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

cheese-duck wrote:

Viiceroy wrote:

cheese-duck wrote:

Hey yall dumb question
I'm trying to (re-)name a character. His brother's name is Ariolus and I was going for both of them being named after moons of Uranus. Any suggestions? Preferrably not starting with a vowel.
Or should I just use some other planet's moons
hey quick tip and it's up to you but haha you might wanna rethink the name ariolus
is there some sort of bad association with it or does it just sound dumb
it's not BAD LOLLL but an areolus is a pretty specific body part

girlsruless
Scratcher
1000+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

Hi! Can I get some advice on a new name for my character? Here's the link: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/309722956/

I feel like the name Lia is a bit too short and simple, idk.

ROBLOX, Minecraft, Pokémon, AJ, Miraculous, Warrior cats, HTTYD, and CW fan(and obviosly a girl), girlsruless.





cheese-duck
Scratcher
1000+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

girlsruless wrote:

Hi! Can I get some advice on a new name for my character? Here's the link: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/309722956/

I feel like the name Lia is a bit too short and simple, idk.
short & simple works sometimes, it's easier to remember. i think it fits her looks too.

Viiceroy wrote:

cheese-duck wrote:

Viiceroy wrote:

cheese-duck wrote:

Hey yall dumb question
I'm trying to (re-)name a character. His brother's name is Ariolus and I was going for both of them being named after moons of Uranus. Any suggestions? Preferrably not starting with a vowel.
Or should I just use some other planet's moons
hey quick tip and it's up to you but haha you might wanna rethink the name ariolus
is there some sort of bad association with it or does it just sound dumb
it's not BAD LOLLL but an areolus is a pretty specific body part
haha i tried searching it up, all i found was areolar tissue which is thankfully not associated with any other body parts, you know what i'm talking about. however “ariolus” apparently means seer in latin, which is 100% not intentional. but like it doesn't seem to be a common or well known word so i think i'm safe?? probably pronounced differently too
doesn't change the fact that it's a dumb name that no one would want to have rip rip rip

Le Mon ShopShayminmeful self-advertising for a thing that's kinda deadSide accountPokémon Fangames/Fakémon Topic
i just found out that the bubble guppies aren't even guppies

hey, i messed up suicune's head thing
cheese-duck
Scratcher
1000+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

i was half asleep on the train last night but couldn't fall asleep bc uncomfortable & sick, so i wrote a poem
and i only write poems when someone makes me or i'm out of my mind lol
but yeah it's morning and i still think it's tolerable so here you go

sleepy and sleepless
maybe i've crossed that threshold
at the end of the evening tunnel
at the start of the night passage
from a timeless, half-dead stupor
into a frenzy of bursts and sparks

those conversations that run
through one ear and out the other
fade away and instead what i hear
is painted, heightened memories

i am no longer on a train
that's going to be half an hour late
but a bus under the sweltering heat
small windows welcoming sunburn
the loud silence of here gives way
to the peace of blaring beats from there

and it's not me drifting off to sleep
but some other familiar face
and although i'm taking up two seats
leaning against the window
i can feel the way i took up just half
sitting on the edge
the far edge

i laugh at the voice on the speaker
you laughed at my voice
and i wonder now if it was the same kind,
laughing at the botched train schedule
or laughing with a friend

you would never listen to the
bursts and sparks that erupt
from someone lost in the night passage
and frenzied from sheer exhaustion
but in the morning
maybe i will remember the bus
and wish the same thing from you

and by the way, that wasn't
the bus ride i got sunburnt on
because you sat in the window seat.

just out of curiosity, how would you interpret what it all means? there's plenty of poetry that's like “i have no idea what you're trying to say but cool” and i want this to be at least kinda understandable, but not blunt. any other feedback appreciated even though i hardly ever poetry

edit: i would've posted this on a (redacted bc st doesn't like it) server where i know some poets but they might know who the person on the bus was and assume some things

Last edited by cheese-duck (Sept. 22, 2019 11:56:05)


Le Mon ShopShayminmeful self-advertising for a thing that's kinda deadSide accountPokémon Fangames/Fakémon Topic
i just found out that the bubble guppies aren't even guppies

hey, i messed up suicune's head thing
The-Book-Worm
Scratcher
100+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

cheese-duck wrote:

i was half asleep on the train last night but couldn't fall asleep bc uncomfortable & sick, so i wrote a poem
and i only write poems when someone makes me or i'm out of my mind lol
but yeah it's morning and i still think it's tolerable so here you go

sleepy and sleepless
maybe i've crossed that threshold
at the end of the evening tunnel
at the start of the night passage
from a timeless, half-dead stupor
into a frenzy of bursts and sparks


and by the way, that wasn't
the bus ride i got sunburnt on
because you sat in the window seat.

just out of curiosity, how would you interpret what it all means? there's plenty of poetry that's like “i have no idea what you're trying to say but cool” and i want this to be at least kinda understandable, but not blunt. any other feedback appreciated even though i hardly ever poetry

edit: i would've posted this on a (redacted bc st doesn't like it) server where i know some poets but they might know who the person on the bus was and assume some things

I really like the first two stanzas and the last. I will admit, it was very confusing. I think I understood it and yet I'm certain I didn't. I don't really know.

And now I realize after rereading what I just said that it was not helpful in anyway

Read - Write - Live
Give 100% in everything you do… unless you're giving blood
I'm too busy on my own grass to notice if yours is greener.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work.


Stories I've written:
scratch3602
Scratcher
38 posts

Writing Advice and Tips

modedii wrote:

What do you guys think of the name Fuwa for one of my characters? She's a repurposed boi design-wise but I didn't like her name, Flo. It's supposed to be like fuwafuwa, which is pretty much just fluffy/light in Japanese (yes, I know I'm a weeb). I tried other spellings but they didn't really make sense.
I think that's a perfect name! She's so cute, also! (honestly im a weeb too)

I'm a forumer. I make topics
thegamer2005
Scratcher
500+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

Hey! I know the original creator isn’t really active anymore but I’ve been reading through this discussion and want to know if one of you guys will comment on my fanfiction. Personally I think it’s cringy and it’s going to go nowhere but oh well.

As Loki and the Avengers exited the Quin-jet Loki trailed behind has he usually did. But this time Cap also stuck to the back. They stopped side by side once they exited the ship. The jet flew off to the hangar leaving them both facing the mountains at the right of the avengers facility. At length Cap spoke. “I wanted to thank you…. Loki.” Those words sounded alien in his mouth. “For saving my life.” There was a pause as Loki chose his answer.
“You saved mine.” was the god of mischief’s reply.
Steve Rogers turned to face him. Loki almost caught his breath. At the super soldiers’ gaze, all the regular arrogance and playful swagger fell away. It was all he could do not to look away so intense was Caps’ blue eyed stare. Under his penetrating gaze, Loki immediately felt incredibly guilty for everything he’d done; even stuff Steve didn’t know he did. It seemed he knew all. He wanted to make it right again. Loki tried to shake it off. What in the world? This wasn’t him at all! What was it about Rogers that made a man so incredibly moral?
“Me and the team have been talking about this and-” he smiled and shook his head, freeing Loki
from his gaze for a few seconds. “In 2013 I never thought I’d be saying this.” the blue eyes locked back on to Loki again. “I’m thinking this is a decision we won’t regret.” There was silence. “You’re an Avenger.” Then he shook his hand, smiled, and turned and left a bewildered Loki alone with his thoughts.


Now if you'll escueeze me, I'm going to drink pudding.

©Licensed Ninjago Fan®
█║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌║█
Approved by Sensei Garmadon
Viiceroy
Scratcher
1000+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

thegamer2005 wrote:

Hey! I know the original creator isn’t really active anymore but I’ve been reading through this discussion and want to know if one of you guys will comment on my fanfiction. Personally I think it’s cringy and it’s going to go nowhere but oh well.
As Loki and the Avengers exited the Quin-jet Loki trailed behind has he usually did. But this time Cap also stuck to the back. They stopped side by side once they exited the ship. The jet flew off to the hangar leaving them both facing the mountains at the right of the avengers facility. At length Cap spoke. “I wanted to thank you…. Loki.” Those words sounded alien in his mouth. “For saving my life.” There was a pause as Loki chose his answer.
“You saved mine.” was the god of mischief’s reply.
Steve Rogers turned to face him. Loki almost caught his breath. At the super soldiers’ gaze, all the regular arrogance and playful swagger fell away. It was all he could do not to look away so intense was Caps’ blue eyed stare. Under his penetrating gaze, Loki immediately felt incredibly guilty for everything he’d done; even stuff Steve didn’t know he did. It seemed he knew all. He wanted to make it right again. Loki tried to shake it off. What in the world? This wasn’t him at all! What was it about Rogers that made a man so incredibly moral?
“Me and the team have been talking about this and-” he smiled and shook his head, freeing Loki
from his gaze for a few seconds. “In 2013 I never thought I’d be saying this.” the blue eyes locked back on to Loki again. “I’m thinking this is a decision we won’t regret.” There was silence. “You’re an Avenger.” Then he shook his hand, smiled, and turned and left a bewildered Loki alone with his thoughts.
i like the plot lol! never heard of that pairing though

thegamer2005
Scratcher
500+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

Viiceroy wrote:

thegamer2005 wrote:

Hey! I know the original creator isn’t really active anymore but I’ve been reading through this discussion and want to know if one of you guys will comment on my fanfiction. Personally I think it’s cringy and it’s going to go nowhere but oh well.



As Loki and the Avengers .. snipsnipsnip


i like the plot lol! never heard of that pairing though
lol THERE IS NO PLOT! i tried to make it into a story but i couldn't actually think of a plot. I'm really bad at plots

Now if you'll escueeze me, I'm going to drink pudding.

©Licensed Ninjago Fan®
█║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌║█
Approved by Sensei Garmadon
thegamer2005
Scratcher
500+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

I’m probably not qualified to do this but
Tip of the day
Remember that a book is not a movie. Not every moment that plays out in your head like a movie will actually sound good on paper. Remember you can’t have different shots in a book, and if you try to write exactly what you see in the ‘shot’ it will sound awkward.

Now if you'll escueeze me, I'm going to drink pudding.

©Licensed Ninjago Fan®
█║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌║█
Approved by Sensei Garmadon
scratch3602
Scratcher
38 posts

Writing Advice and Tips

thegamer2005 wrote:

I’m probably not qualified to do this but
Tip of the day
Remember that a book is not a movie. Not every moment that plays out in your head like a movie will actually sound good on paper. Remember you can’t have different shots in a book, and if you try to write exactly what you see in the ‘shot’ it will sound awkward.

I really like these points. Thanks for reminding me books are not movies, I ALWAYS try to make them like movies.

I'm a forumer. I make topics
The-Book-Worm
Scratcher
100+ posts

Writing Advice and Tips

thegamer2005 wrote:

I’m probably not qualified to do this but
Tip of the day
Remember that a book is not a movie. Not every moment that plays out in your head like a movie will actually sound good on paper. Remember you can’t have different shots in a book, and if you try to write exactly what you see in the ‘shot’ it will sound awkward.
I'm pretty sure none of us are qualified to do this

Read - Write - Live
Give 100% in everything you do… unless you're giving blood
I'm too busy on my own grass to notice if yours is greener.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work.


Stories I've written:

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