March 3rd:

“I love brunch- waffles and juice and fruit, oh my! Brunch is what's called a portmanteau- combining two words to create a new word that contains the meanings of both of your original words, like cosplay (costume and play) or smog (smoke and fog). Comment three words and then claim two words someone else has commented. Combine those two words and write an advertisement for your new creation! Your ad should be at least 350 words to earn 300 points for your cabin, plus 150 if you share proof!”

Author's Notes:
▸ the words used were rose and book from @taylorsversion–!
▸ not sure how I feel about this but it was the first idea that came into mind lol

Movies are typically praised for their ability to immerse people into the story. Stunning graphics and effects are used to catch the viewer’s eye. Some movies have even went above and beyond, taking advantage of the viewer’s different senses to create what is known as a four dimensional film. What if I told you, though, that you can experience different senses with just a book? Indeed, however this item is not just your plain book. I introduce you to the Bokse, an item with a far more interesting use than its name!

The Bokse, in its first version, combines roses and books together to provide the reader with a sense of smell. Stories of whimiscal gardens and magical forests are not rare in the land of fantasy and even some realistic fiction. However, what if you could immerse yourself even deeper into these stories? As one reads, a scent of roses will appear, truly dragging the reader into the story. You don’t have to be a sideliner. You can be right there, smack in the face of action.

Perhaps your attention has been drawn, or perhaps you’re wondering how many stories genuinely use roses. Never fear, dear reader! Newer versions of the Bokse provides more than just the scent of roses. The settings can be adjusted to better suit the needs of the story. There are petunias, daisies, fruits, even coffee! You can now turn your dream of living a cozy cottage life into a reality. However, there’s even more! Fans of different genres will not be disappointed with the scents of smoke and fire. (Everything has been properly tested and is guaranteed to not burn your book.) Stand right in the middle of the battlefield, letting your senses guide your way. Regardless of what books you enjoy, you are guaranteed to find an option that suits you!

Thought that was it? Think again! There’s even more. The newest version of the Bokse includes the sense of feeling. It’s four dimensional films, but with vague spots that lets the viewer’s imagination run wild. Feel the wind in your hair and the water splash your face. (Everything is, again, properly tested and will not crinkle your pages.) There’s even more options that we will leave to be discovered. We are sure, however, that they will not disappoint!

What are you waiting for? Purchase the Bokse today, a true immersive experience that no book has been able to capture before.

Word Count: 408

March 3 Daily!! || 354 words :P

Introducing the SparrowKnife; the BEST tool for everyday value!
The SparrowKnife is not only a knife, but it also doubles as 6 other tools; a screwdriver, a saw, a can opener, a bottle opener,a wrench, and not surprisingly, a bird whistle. However, the bird whistle specializes in sparrows, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work on other birds too! Having all of these tools in one object is quite useful, but if yo don't belive me, here are some reasons why!

Whether you're in the wilderness, camping, or simply doing everyday tasks, the SparrowKnife is here to help!

Why choose the SparrowKnife?
- Just like the magnificent bird it is based off of, the SparrowKnife does it's job precisely and with no mistakes! Not only that, it is also lightweight and small enough that you can carry in your pocket!

- One of the standout features of the SparrowKnife is its compact design. Weighing about 8 ounces, it still fits in your pocket even with the 7 tools it doubles as!

- It even comes equipped with a bird whistle, which is perfect for birdwatchers! Not only you can use it for birdwatching, observing, and whatever else you do with bird whistles, you can even use it for fun! The whistle is built with a strong wood, perfect to last!

- Not only that, you don't need to worry about your blade of steel breaking, since it is made of durable steal that is guaranteed to last for 20 years, and is rust resistible, so you don't need to worry about getting it wet!

- “It must be expensive!!” you might yell, but since it is very small and compact, but very useful, it wont range much from $15-$30 dollars! (based on store.)

Don’t miss out on the SparrowKnife—the ultimate tool that combines convenience, precision, and versatility in one compact, reliable package. Whether you’re exploring nature, fixing up around the house, or simply tackling everyday tasks, the SparrowKnife is the only tool you’ll ever need!

Get your SparrowKnife today, and let it take your adventures and tasks to new heights, just like the actual bird!

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

◪ Noͦ 3
Wordcount: 371/350
Topic: Advertisement writing
Points earned: 300+150 for proof
Cabin: Bi-Fi

My inspiration: cabinet, sunlight, inspiration

Are you an enthusiastic haunted house explorer? Are you an excited treehouse liver? Are you an avid night time reader? Are you a little too knowledgable zombie geek? Are you a constant all night puller? Or are you just an emo?
Whether you are or are not one of the following examples laid out in front of your surely harmed eyes, we are here to fix them! Approximately a hundred and forty nine out of one hundred and fifty enthusiastic haunted house explorers reported that their eyesight is as bad as the measly treasure they get out of the filthy manors.
Around thirty out of forty treehouse livers admitted that they fell out of their cosy tree abodes due to the comfortable darkness.
About three hundred constant all night pullers were surveyed and questioned, showing that each and every one of you is slightly insane and slightly blind!
Don't worry, SWC (Switzerland Will Co-operate) is ready to provide you our newest product- cabinet sunlight! They are small luminous balls made of pure sunshine extracted from a source that might not be mentionable right now (-cough- Wari). You place them in your cupboard, on your shelf, even on the floor, and they can light up four whole mango trees from head to foot! This is especially useful for midnight ventures with matchsticks I mean cheese sticks! Because who doesn't want to go to a lovely flammable kitchen and open the flammable fridge and get some delicious dairy! Unless you are lactose intolerant, of course. Being lactose intolerant doesn't mean you can't use our products, as long as you have a love for small bits of wood with red phosphorous on the top.
The first one hundred people to buy our product only pay with five mangoes! Two lighters are also a fair exchange and will be slightly more appreciated. Our owner does not feel comfortable with people asking why she wants these certain items, and you will be kicked out of our shop if you utter a word about this. Do not reach out to the editor either- I, personally, would like to keep this job.
There you have it, folks- floating balls of sunshine! Remember, mangoes grow back. Eyesight does NOT!

‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭୨ ASSIGNMENT 3 ୧ ⊹ ˚₊‧

Comment three words and then claim two words someone else has commented. Combine those two words and write an advertisement for your new creation!

Do you ever feel the need to stick things together? Do you ever need to make two things combine? Well, how about you take a look at our newest product, the Stickler! (The PR team hated the name but screw them!) We definitely got the green light to release this product, alongside the fact that this product is definitely /NOT/ glorified double-sided tape!

The Stickler is basically a stapler, but the staples, are sticky! (hence the name.) They can connect papers together like a regular stapler, but something else can be stuck to the staple, making it useful for certain crafts you may want to create.

The Stickler will get jammed occasionally, but a few shakes should free up the staples! If problems persist, call customer support! We’ll give you instructions on how to continue usage of the product.

The product costs quite a bit! But, it is well worth it for the convenience that comes alongside the purchase of the product!

When the stapler starts using, well, regular staples. Simply refill the glue cartridge with the glue that comes with the product (DO NOT USE REGULAR GLUE.) If you ever run out of glue, more can be purchased on our website! Like we said, never use regular glue. This is because the staples will not be compatible with the regular glue.

This is definitely /not/ a product by a random intern downstairs who we are pretty sure was just really bored and put glue in one of our staplers. Huh, the PR department seems to be yelling at me at the moment, something about this ad ‘painting our company in a bad light’? I’m not painting anything. Huh, weird. Anyways, here’s some things we’re meant to tell you, so uh…

Disclaimers!
DO NOT USE REGULAR GLUE! We said this once, we will say it again.
If the product comes in contact with hair, your only choice will be to rip it out. It is VERY painful, we do not recommend it.
If the product overheats, immediately have it come in contact with water. It will explode. (Do not ask how a glorified glue gun- I mean how glue and staplers overheat. It happened, and the janitor hated us after it.)

| ♞ | ୨ 371 words

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

◪ Weekly 1
Points earned: 2000
Cabin: Bi-Fi

Weekly link!
This weekly is about worldbuilding. I personally love world-building, so I feel like this is already going to be one of my favourite weeklies!

◪ Part 1
Word count: 428/350
Topic: Write 350 words describing the language and culture of those who inhabit your glorious world

Shayakh contains twelve clans- each different clan has its unique culture and traditions. For example, we can look at Selenemi, the moon clan- their land is in a constant darkness, only having two hours of barely there sunshine every day. They worship the moon through three divine wolves. The black wolf, Holde, symbolises the eternal night upon them. The white wolf, Heidi, represents the moon that they pay respects to, as well as their god. The gray one, Hilda, represents the people of the Moon Kingdom. Their god, Selenemi, refused to believe that humans were good but also denied that they were bad. According to him, humans were entirely morally gray- the different aspects of everything affecting a person's mind could not ever ensure that someone was only driven by selfless desires.
We can take another clan for an example- we have Plonysiane, the earth clan. They live in tropical forests and are constantly surrounded by plants. They are connected to the soil itself- over the years, they have evolved to be much like the things they worship. Most residents of the Earth Kingdom get their source of nutrition from sunbathing- it is something similar to photosynthesis, where their bodies break down the chemicals in the air and sunlight to provide food for themselves. Admittedly, this technique has turned them into idlers- but it is much more efficient than just eating a meal. Those who prefer to cook and use their daylight hours are not judged upon but rather admired- in their minds, it would be impossible to move around without their daily afternoon sleep.
Our final clan to discuss is Droquet. It is known by many names- the underworld, the Death Clan, the Kingdom of Souls. It is the only tribe below the surface of Shayakh. It is looked down upon, as their ruler is not the kindest. Instead of worshipping their god, they worship a monarch- Lord Damien. This is a tradition followed by this clan and this clan only. This fact is one of the reasons the rest of Shayakh scorns upon this culture. To the uperrland, the gods are what gave them water, gave them the magical barriers, gave them life. If to not worship god, then what is the point of living? Another reason they hate Droquet is not because of the culture of worshipping a king, but the king itself. Lord Damien rules over souls, not humans- and over the years, his empathy has not developed. Souls are but singular emotions of what the person felt before dying, and there is not a majority of people smiling on their deathbed. Constantly surrounded by wails of hatred, he does not care for his queen or his two children and certainly does not care for the other tribes shared by their world. After all, he lives underground- he does not need to communicate with them either way.

◪ Part 2
Topic: Create three aesthetic boards capturing important places, cultures, and biomes in your story.

Places used- Azulnatto, Droquet, Lunova

◪ Part 3
Word count: 504/500
Topic: You will be adding unique technology to your world and writing a conflict that occurs because of it.

The gods would do anything to end the war. One, it was killing their people off, which meant that their followers were reducing, their worshipers diminishing, and their light was starting to fade away. Two, it was a massive headache. The only thing they heard in their prayer receivals was begging for the fighting to be stopped, for their families to be returned, for the swords to cease clashing. It was endearing at first- humans were so fragile, so… humane. But over time, it had started to cause irritation. Third, with the war going on, all the warriors had no time to offer respects to them- their power was slowly reducing without the constant praise, and someone had to do something about it.

“Look at you!” Ixhilla drawled out, gesturing to Azulnatto's blank, emotionless face as she sat on her liquid-like throne, her hands laying still on her lap. “You've not been the same lately.”
“What are you getting at, Ixhilla?” Selenemi asked carefully. He was one of the calmer, more refined gods, ruler of the moon.
“You know,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. “After your besstttt buddy Ropyronas passed away-” She was immediately silenced with a blade of ice held up to her throat, Vinshllah glaring at her.
“I request you shut your mouth,” he said smoothly before letting the icicle crumble into her lap. Azulnatto said not a word, her head held high but her gaze down at her feet. “We're here to discuss countermeasures, not talk about the death of our comrade.”
“Comrade my foot,” Ixhilla murmured, brushing off the chipped ice from her silk dress. “He was only a friend to you and Azulnatto.”
“And me,” vouched Selenemi.
“And me,” piped up Plonysiane.
“Me too,” Edkroon said absentmindedly.
“It seems everyone was friends with Ropyronas except you, really,” Droquet said, hiding his smile behind a pale ghostly hand. Ixhilla huffed and crossed her arms, looking away. If Azulnatto was thankful, angry, or felt any sort of emotion, her face did not show it.
“Can we focus on the topic at hand?” Lunova said with irritation, flicking up her chin at the server in the corner. She rushed forward with a trembling hand, holding up five pieces of jewellery on a platter. They glew with an aura- even the celestials had to admit that the wearer of these five ornaments would be able to overthrow them.
“Must we cut off the trade routes?” Ixhilla said glumly.
“Putting up the barriers between the clans is the only choice,” Hikairi morderated.
“Yes, but Carnadol's supplies are the only thing we have to continue our mage training.” Ixhilla blew a strand of her coppery red hair out of her face, Carnadol rolling his eyes next to her.
“Aren't you shameful?” He murmured, swirling his wine glass. “I agree with Hikaira. We must put up the barriers.”
Edkroon held up her hand when Ixhilla tried to argue, silencing all the other gods as well. “It is my final verdict.”
Nobody could overrule Lunova's final verdict.

◪ Part 4
Word count: 910/800
Topic: Write a story introducing your world.

It was not a surprise when Ava woke up with a huge ache in her inner thighs, her neck, and her lower back. Honestly, it hurt everywhere. She couldn’t find a spot that wasn’t sore. Her eyes were still heavy, refusing to open due to the insane training Gill had made her do the night before. She had barely gotten to bed at four in the morning, and the two-hour scrappy sleep she received proved to be a bigger difficulty than she thought it would. She found herself looking at the clock on the wall, wishing that she had another hour of sleep. Why did the bakery start at six in the morning? Nobody arrived at six in the morning. Their earlier customer arrived at nine. She hated the fact that her internal clock was already set to wake up at the dastardly time, so she didn’t even have a chance to oversleep.
Sitting up groggily, she pushed a hand through the hair that obscured her vision. Blinking was harder than she thought it was, but it was only due to her well-trained routine that she was able to place her feet on the freezing cold floor. She shivered and quickly rushed to dress, doing the inhumane act of putting on her socks first. It took only five minutes for the noise to start. She was brushing out her hair when her father’s muffled voice resounded from behind the thick cedar wood, and she assumed it was from the kitchen.
“Coming!” she called out, cutting off his usual speech about her being late to rise. Grabbing her glasses from the nightstand, she twisted the doorknob and sprinted down the stairs, sliding down the railing at the last three steps, a small ritual she did. Instead of being greeted with the familiar sight of her stepfather behind the glass tops, rolling out fresh dough, she was instead met with rough-looking white sheets all over the display counters instead.
“Ah, there you are,” he raised his head from spreading another sheet over the oven. “You were slower today than yesterday.”
“Haha,” she laughed dryly at the smile spreading across her father’s face. “Why is everything covered up?”
“Things are getting fixed around here,” he gestured to the three men outside the door. Their hair was greased back in a way that screamed that they thought they were more than they were clearly worth, seeing they were wearing overalls with careless mud stains that hadn’t been bothered to be washed off. Despite their unkempt appearance, she felt sorry for them. Their disgruntled expressions showed that they also would rather be under their covers at that moment. “You’re always complaining about how the wood is starting to get old and moldy, so I decided to get some new pieces installed.”
She looked up at the ceiling, and the walls were made of the same cedar as her room door. It was true- the wood was starting to age, and there was a small bit of mold starting to form in the crevices, which was dangerous for a bakery with eatables lying around everywhere. “We’re not getting any baking done today?”
He shook his head, starting to apply the white sheets on the stair’s railings. “You can go out and do whatever you want today, as long as you’re back by five.”
Admittedly, she was peeved that he had still woken her up so early when there wasn’t any reason to, but she decided to keep her mouth shut and savor her sudden opportunity. Ava couldn’t remember the last time she had received a day off, and she certainly wasn’t going to lose it over some stupid argument for her sleep.
She barely managed to throw out a thank you as she slipped on her shoes and scampered out the door into the plaza. As expected, all of the other shops were closed. Anybody in their right mind would not open their shop at the crack of dawn, but she couldn’t exactly say that to her father’s face. The only place that came to her mind was the usual coast where Gill taught her magic in secret. She waited till her father went to the more inner part of the bakery before sneaking off to the sandy beach.
Brushing off the sand grains from a particularly large rock, she sat down and watched as the waves rolled up the shore. Her feet that had once been in warm sand were touched by the cold water, leaving them freezing in the air. She sighed and waited for more tides, moving to a shorter, flatter stone that was closer to the ocean. When the liquid touched her feet, she was prepared, using the skills that Gill had taught her last night to talk to the droplets.
Hello, she tried hesitantly. Considering her interactions with water, she didn’t trust herself to know whether it had an alter ego during the morning. After all, she had only talked to them when the moon was above her. If the water had felt any sense of friendship with her just two hours prior, it did not show it anymore. It wordlessly slid back down the shore, ignoring her petulantly. Hiding her annoyance so that she didn’t offend it, Ava leaned back on the rock with her hands behind her head, closing her eyes.
If they wanted to be silent, they were going to have to realise two could play that game.

Daily 3
417 words

Words: Guitar and lighter

Hello, and welcome to Gurtle’s Guitars! Here, we make guitars and find creative new ways to destroy them, or occasionally give them away to people who actually play the guitar. We have created many, many incredible inventions, including the guitar-hammer, the guitar-catapult and the all time favourite, the guitar-blender, which has sold over 8 billion!

Anyway, some of you have been looking for a more criminal way of destroying your guitars, and voted the most favourite method, with 73% of the votes is committing arson! Luckily, Gurtle, manager of Gurtle’s Guitars, is very skilled in this, due to his previous work experience with the SWCers (quick shoutout to all of them!), which involved a lot of mango arson specifically. We were very inspired by this wonderful skill and so, decided to make out brand new, state of the art *drumroll*

GUITAR LIGHTER!

This amazing and never seen before item is only on offer for a few months as it is limited edition, so if you’re watching this, go ahead and buy one now before they run out!
Now, back onto the guitar-lighter. Similar to our other creations, this is a specially modified invention for guitar, its main purpose to destroy guitars. However, this is a multi-purpose creation, and not only can light your guitar on fire, but also pretty much anything. It’s especially big to ensure that the guitar catches extremely quickly, so if you’re using this and you don’t want it to burn your house down, we suggest buying our pretty- much- everything- proof guitar box, which can resist fire, bullets, metal, and like it says, pretty much everything.

Make sure to set a long enough timer on this device before setting it, because then you might not have enough time to close the lid of your £1,253 pretty- much- everything- proof guitar case and run away in case it blows your house down! If your house did burn down, then expect to either be dead, seriously injured in hospital, facing police interviews or pondering what you’re going to do for yourself, because you probably don’t have much insurance if you are stupid enough to use one of these!
Make sure not to miss our next devices, which are even stronger and more destructive, and are all arson-related!
Thank you for reading through this truly amazing advert and make sure to head over to our website for more information! Bye!

WARNING: KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN (AND MOST ADULTS TOO)

Introducing… the umbrellamp! Have YOU ever been wandering around in the dark woods in the pouring rain, wishing you could see AND be dry at the same time but not wanting to hold both a flashlight and an umbrella? Well, good news! You’re in luck— the umbrellamp is here and it’s here to stay! Priced at just twenty six toes, the umbrellamp lights up the dark while keeping you dry from the pouring rain. Now you can safely carry your umbrella, your flashlight and your shovel all at the same time with no struggle! But what even IS the umbrellamp, I hear you ask? It’s a metal rod with an umbrella fastened to the top and eight flashlights of varying brightnesses strapped to the outside. You can hold it while you walk, clip it to the back of your coat, or even summon a friendly zombie to hold it for you using the incantation written on the handle. But “that’s so boring!” I hear you say! But not to worry, it has EVEN MORE purposes! The end of the metal rod is very sharp, meaning you can use it to chop down trees, dig holes in the woods, or even as a walking stick! If you press the giant red button near the top of the umbrella, the flashlights will join together to make a giant laser beam, which shines up into the sky to broadcast your location to rescuers! But WAIT— it has even MORE features! The flashlights can also join together at a low frequency and hang below the umbrella, lighting your way but keeping your position secret, allowing you to sneak up on your enem—

Get your umbrellamp today! For the low low price of JUST twenty six toes, the umbrellamp is yours with all its various purposes and features! This amazing deal is limited time only, so make sure to jump on it while you can!

Disclaimer: we do not endorse criminal activity while using THE UMBRELLAMP. Please do not dig strange holes in the woods with your UMBRELLAMP. We do not claim legal responsibility for any damage done to or by the UMBRELLAMP, to people, vehicles, personal possessions, or strange items found in the woods. Your purchase of the UMBRELLAMP does not guarantee your safety.

The UMBRELLAMP is a trademark of the Dangerous Confinscated Items corporation



391 words

How I Rant (A Rant)
3/2/2025
1485 words

hello!! let’s rant about how i rant! not much of a how to, than a how i, but maybe this will be helpful and i want to make sure i’m giving more proof of like a thousand words that i write anyways.

i don’t know about you, but at least when i’m rambling, i tend to not capitalize all that much lol. unless i’m on google docs because that automatically makes things capitalized, which is fine for schoolwork but you know. i also like to start off my rants and rambles with a little greeting and introduction because uh?? i don’t know but it kind of gives me a clear indicator of at least what i’m going to start taking about.

i usually have an idea on what i am gong to ramble about before i write it down. the first draft of most of this was probably done as i was changing my clothes earlier because my mind is always going. haven’t managed to get my words per minute quite up to speed and i’ve definitely had to slow myself down so i could keep up with all of my thoughts.

maybe it’s just me and my personality, but i like to talk about everything that has gone on in my life. not that i have much of a social life, but whenever u get home from extracurricular or co-op, i will be a pop long details to my mom and occasionally my siblings. i’m usually always around my siblings, so they don’t get too much of that. however, they get my extremely ling fandom rants. i think the closest i’ve come to gossiping is telling my sister everything that has happened in a long fic and uh- she’s definitely gotten mad at me because of that. i told her that the main character had gotten into a car crash, but i didn’t know what happened to them, so i left both of us on a cliffhanger and she was furious.

rambling is something that has kind of come naturally, but it’s also been a bit of a raft that has been honed in my many years of participating in cabin wars. i’m competitive, if you haven’t seen, and completing wars?? don’t you dare say i made us lose one. so from my first swc session, i found an importance in quantity. not to say that it’s more important than quality, not at all! but there is an art in being able to pull words out of your consciousness and being able to articulate all of your thoughts.

it’s been a life saver in terms of my mental health because rambling on and on and going on rabbit trails about your day, emotions, and even deeper to the root of your emotions, has helped me understand myself better and why i believe some of the things that i do. i do have flawed beliefs about myself and the world. and being able to identify them is the first step in trying to alter them. it gets to a point where i enter somewhat of a poetic confessional state where i’m both writing down my most hidden thoughts, but also being mindful of the word choice i use, so that it flows well. it doesn’t come around a lot, but i had an emotional cabin wars night last session GEEZ- because what’s the point in writing about yourself a lot if you’re not learning about yourself right? well, i mean there are archival benefits and stuff, but eh- i personally like to get to know myself better.

i’m my best friend and i don’t think there is anything wrong with that. i think i’m funny and i do silly things to cheer myself up. do i have a “real” friend group or whatever? not a conventional one. but i’ve never lived a conventional life.

i also like to just talk about hobbies and things that go on in my life! and my brain is always thinking about thee things anyways so i usually have a subconscious running list of things for me to write about. for instance, i’m currently thinking about voice lessons and how i haven’t written much about it in my journaling at all. i started it maybe two months ago? and it’s been really fun. i like my teacher, even if i’m pretty sure she played an ai generated song that she was wondering if i would like to try. she’s also my dance teacher and former theater director. but i like the freedom and balance that i am given in the songs that i want to sing and the songs that she thinks will fit with the recital theme.

speaking of which, i cannot wait for wednesday. i can’t see my friends on monday because we’re having a break from theater, as we just finished our performance yesterday, but i’ll see them on wednesday. however, now i'm off break from school, so i have to focus on that as well ugh…

if i need words, i also do a ton of planning!! maybe not as productive as actually writing, since i don’t get around to committing to most of them, but i do think the creative process in trying to come up with new ideas is a wonderful exercise. i usually plan out fic ideas and how the characters (clintashaaaaa) will work in a given scenario, but it does help me to better understand the characters and how i can play around with them. as a quick example, chuey gave me the prompt of a gender swapped rapunzel story and i probably rambled on for like 800 words about an idea surrounding that. with clint as rapunzel and natasha as flynn. (hawkeye and black widow, respectively) there are a lot of world building aspects to consider and how much of the original tangled movie are we gong to stick to? i did find that the specific crossover idea was harder than some other ones i’ve tried my hand at. like who’s the mother gothel equivalent? the ugly duckling? clint’s parents? how much of canon do we keep and how much do we change? i ended up going for yelena in the role of the brothers that flynn rider rips off, phil + audrey as clint’s birth parents, and swordsman as the mother of them equivalent. if you don’t know all of thee characters, you’re totally fine, i’m also just rambling here for words bwahaha-

but i do think that coming up with any ideas is a great exercise and helps you to get to know characters better!! how will the plot change with these personalities? what differences will there be in the dynamic? what roles will everyone play? things like that! the story ideas are endless and taking characters out of their own world can really help you see them in different scenarios.

when rambling, you don’t need to stick to a certain path either. like look at me here! i go from talking about how i like to start my rambles to my personality and how i like to yap, to clintasha because yeah my brain revolves around them, to well- the possibilities are endless. go on about whatever you like. even the fact that you write a lot less than you thought you did. why do you think that it? always ask yourself questions. well, i’ve been sitting here in this seat for a lot longer than i think i should have. if i’ve been sitting here for like 24 minutes, i think that i would have more than 50 words per minute to show for it. i usually ramble faster. but also, i’m usually less worried about how many words i have because i’m not looking at the screen. and i am right now because i am planning on sharing this, so i’ve got to make sure there are less spelling errors.

also guys writing in mobile is such a good tool to have- because muscle memory also applies to writing in the phone keyboard too!! and it’s handy to write a little bit here and there. i can get a few hundred words on the way to and from town, which is handy during cabin wars~~

talk about your interests, your obsessions. talk about what you love and hate with a burning passion. no one has to read your opinions, but being able to voice them, even just for yourself, can help you understand yourself better.

but that’s just my opinion and if you’ve read this entire thing, well- good for you, i don’t know if i could have if i wasn’t the one writing this. but maybe you learned something and that’s great!! anyways i have to go now because uhh yeah. got to do things that don’t require me sitting and writing for an extended period of time. things outside of swc, can you believe it?!

Welcome to Seven's Silly Soliloquy (aka just a cool name for my writing post this session TwT)


daily 3-3 the speakmote (364 words)

Are you tired of arranging your speakers to get your tv sound JUST RIGHT? Are you struggling to find places to put your speakers for perfect home theater surround sound? Does overturning every single couch cushion before finding your remote bring you great pain? Does having multiple remotes for different functions of your tv confuse you? Does the separation of remote and speaker itself discourage you? Well look no further than the Speakmote! The Speakmote is a clever new invention combining the remote, and the speaker (patent pending), for relief of all these issues! Speakmote is a high quality, wireless speaker that can connect to your smart tv. The Speakmote is small enough allowing for you to place it next to you, wherever you may be sitting in your living room. However, it’s large enough to deliver state of the arc sound quality and prevent it from getting lost in black hole couches.
However, the Speakmote is not just your regular old speaker. The Speakmote can also double as your tv remote! Speakmotes are large, and not able to be easily lost, so no more couch fishing before your movie! Not only that, but connecting your Speakmote to your television means you only need one remote for everything- no separate remotes for anything! The Speakmote can do everything your regular television remote can do, so why not buy?
The Speakmote also has another special feature. What if you want to have a big movie night with all of your friends? Well look no further than the Speakmote Deluxe! The Speakmote Deluxe contains a Party feature. This special feature allows for friends to collect their Speakmote to your Speakmote Deluxe. This way, all of your friends can use their Speakmotes for the audio of the movie you’re watching! Though they are able to hear the audio using their Speakmotes, only the host of the Party on their Speakmote Deluxe can control the actual television.
With all this in mind, purchase your own Speakmote today for the low price of $400,000,000,000,000! Or, for the added Party feature and a larger size, purchase the Speakmote Deluxe for only one hundred million more dollars!


daily 3-8 (352 words)

To: Amy Lee
From: Seven

Thank you for everything you do! You are such an icon and one of the faces of the 2000s. You always stood up for what you believed in and didn’t shy away from what you thought was right. You’ve made a lot of hard decisions and faced backlash from so many people, and you managed to get through it all and come out stronger than before. I admire your confidence and your ability to command a stage. You’re one of the greatest musicians of the 2000s and your legacy on the genre, fashion, feminism, and activism is admirable. You’re such an inspiration to me and so many other people. Walking into school each morning blasting Tourniquet in my earbuds makes the day so much more bearable! I’ll always cherish the memories I have of listening to Whisper in the car with my mom on the way to rehearsal. You're one of my favorite artists and I relate to your story almost as though I'm another version of you.
I’ve always identified with your background of growing up and feeling like an outsider, of feeling gaping loss and loneliness. I feel that way too, though I've never experienced quite what you have. What I do know, is that I've experienced something similar, and at the end of the day it truly is similar experiences that unite us. It's hard to be yourself in a world that's so used to banding together. But at least there's music. Life may have few constants, but nothing can ever take Evanescence away from me. You're always there for me in ways you'll never know. I feel the same way about my flute as you did your piano. Every day I come home from school, wanting nothing more than to just play, play, play. While I don't really write music, you don't need to write it to identify with it. Your band and all of your musical and philanthropic endeavors are so inspiring to me. You and your music are always there for me when I need it.

Thank you for being amazing!

word war 3-7 proof (technically 3-8 but est am i right) (218 words of me yapping about scott pilgrim and the ramona bag im crocheting)

Currently I’m crocheting a ramona flowers bag, aka subspace suitcase and its coming out really well !! i cant wait for it to be finished honestly im having such a good time crocheting it and im so excited for when im done with it because its actually exactly my style ?? im crocheting the green and dark blue one because it matches my style better but im going to end up crocheting the blue and pink one at some point because its more iconic and im sure i have something it will match with at some point. Id love to cosplay ramona at some point honestly she is such a fun character and the scott pilgrim franchise in general is soooo important to me. I was a fan before the show came out and i genuinely love the comics and the movie so much. The show was okay i dont really like what they did to the story but its a refreshing take lol. Its still a good show dont get me wrong but honestly i kind of wanted them to just animate the comics and then publish that, especially because the movie did change some things up and it would be cool to just have a show thats the same thing as the original story and comics just animated.

word war proof 3-9 ( 289 words of yapping about cabin wars and trackbear)

Cabin wars is lowkey really stressing me out because we just lost like 1000 points which is kinda crazy ? i guess we really need to l ock in and start writing a lot of words to make up the points by the end of camp lol. But also its literally only the first week of camp so we have a lot of time, im planning on locking in for the next weekly because i kindddd of didn’t do the first one but i might end up having time today to do it before its due ? i dont know, i might be overestimating my speedrunning abilities but even if i dont finish it it will still count for words which my cabin needs desperately because we need points sobbing. Anyway speaking of words i really want to try and climb the trackbear leaderboard, i dont know how well thats going to go considering i havent hit 2000 yet but i believe in myself ! i have a lotttt of oc lore to write and oc docs to start making because worldbuilding is hard. If i need help with worldbuilding i should probably do the weekly ??? i dont know man this is really stressing me out and at this point im really just yapping for words to win this war that i dont think ill win because 115 wpm is crazy ??? im running out of stuff to write down i just paused for like 5 seconds i might be cooked. Anyway im listening to evanescence right now and i did the womens day daily on how much i love amy lee so the music is fitting right now yay !! its one of my favorite songs too, imaginary is suchhhhhh a good song.

daily 3-11 (+992 words of goldilocks finding the extremes to be just right and also being a lot less picky)

Goldilocks often liked to wander in the woods. She enjoyed getting lost amongst the trees and then finding her way back home through the forest. While she enjoyed wandering aimlessly and losing track of time, she did not enjoy getting so incredibly lost that she did not have a clue where she was! She had explored the forest thoroughly, so there wasn’t really a place she couldn’t find her way out of, until today.
Goldilocks stood in a small clearing in the middle of the woods, and looked around. She had not a clue how to get back to her house and didn’t remember the way in which she came. She sighed, confused and worried about the time- would she be able to find her way out before it got dark? It could get mighty dangerous outside in the woods at night and she didn’t fancy running into any wild animals.
She thought of all this as she walked to and fro, flitting around the lush trees like a squirrel. She hoped to find a familiar looking stump, or one of the red bows she’d tied around a large branch to signify she was close to home, but alas, she found nothing. Well, she found something… it just wasn’t what she was looking for.
She had stepped into another clearing, but this one’s space was taken up by a cute looking log cabin. It was really more of a cottage, as it wasn’t big enough to house more than maybe 2 people. Goldilocks stared at it in wonder. She’d never happened upon this neck of the woods before, nor had she ever met anyone there. She had no idea anyone was living in the forest at all.
What she really wanted was to go inside, but her common sense stopped her. That’d be breaking and entering, and who knew if the residents of the cottage would be accommodating of guests. Not only that, but there was no smoke coming out of the stout chimney or lights peeking out behind the checkered curtains.
Well, she thought, there can’t be anyone home since the house is dark and all she really wanted to do was peek inside. Surely it couldn’t hurt to just take a quick gander inside, right? After all, it was beginning to get dark and it would quickly turn unsafe. Goldilocks nodded, readying herself for whatever she might find inside. She walked up to the door and noticed a rather ornate brass knocker in the shape of a tree.
Perfect, she thought, she’d just knock first and see what happened! She knocked three times and waited. There were no sounds of movement inside the house, and after about thirty seconds there was still no answer. Goldilocks took a deep breath and tried the doorknob. The door swung open on pristine hinges, almost as if it was in a rush to let her in.
She smiled, elated that she hadn’t run into any trouble. She quickly stepped over the threshold, and closed the door behind her. Despite the lights being off, there was still plenty of light to see by, as it was only dusk, and there was a small lamp in the middle of a small round table. She moved closer to the table and spied three bowls of oatmeal. She breathed in the delightful smell, and sighed. She was awfully hungry, and surely there was no need for three bowls of oatmeal, right?
She pulled out one of the chairs, and stared at it. It was rather large and wide, wider and larger than any chair she’d ever seen before, but she sat in it regardless. It was rather comfortable, in fact it was just right. She liked having plenty of room to sit and wiggle. She slid over one of the oatmeal bowls and noticed it was still steaming. Goldilocks smiled once again, she loved her oatmeal nice and hot.
She picked up a spoonful, blew on it once, and ate it. It was thick and creamy, the sweet honey flavor and warmth filling her mouth. Oatmeal was one of her favorite foods, and that bowl was made just right. She swallowed and immediately took another bite. She had only planned to eat one bite, but it was just so good she had polished off the whole bowl before she realized it.
Oops, Goldilocks thought, moving over to the sink to rinse and wash the bowl. Even though she was technically invading someone's cottage, she wasn’t going to leave a mess because that would just be rude.
Once she finished washing the bowl, she noticed that there was an upstairs. It was almost completely dark outside now, but there was another small light at the top of the stairs. Goldilocks thought for a moment. It couldn’t hurt to just look right? After all, she was already in the house, wasn’t she? So, she walked carefully up the stairs, noticing that their distance was a little further apart than normal stairs.
Once upstairs, she found herself in a small hallway. There was a bathroom with an abnormally large toilet on one side, and on the other side was a bedroom. She was pretty tired, so she decided to check out the bedroom first. She found inside the bedroom that there was not one, not two, but three beds!
One bed was small, one was medium, and one was large. Goldilocks decided to try the large bed first, kicking off her Mary Janes before laying down- once again, she wasn’t going to be rude. She immediately noticed the firmness of the mattress and the pillows, as well as the softness of the covers. It felt just like her bed at home, in fact it was just right! She fought to keep her eyes open because she was just stopping to take a rest for a moment! But she was full, and she was tired, and the bed was just so comfortable…

opinion piece for journalism's newspaper!

Colors are everywhere, and our brain often associates them with certain things. For example, almost everyone knows that blue means cold, red means hot, yellow means happy, green means envy, and so on. But that begs the question- which colors are associated with school subjects? This topic is a hot debate across the internet, with debates springing up everywhere about which subject is what color, so I figured I’d toss in my two cents and give you guys the rundown. Before I begin, I just want to issue a blanket statement that whatever I say in this piece is not opinion, it is fact. My word is the truth.
Firstly, math is red. Why? Well, math is a hardcore subject. It can be difficult, there’s a lot going on, and usually it’s disliked. Now, not to say that red is a dislikable color- my favorite color happens to be red- but to say that red is simply used to express intense things. For example, heat is red, anger is red, and spicy peppers are typically portrayed as red. These are all very extreme things, be it extreme conditions or emotions, and go along nicely with math, considering what I’ve mentioned above. Not only that, but a lot of the times when someone says “school,” you’ll think of math. Math is very much one of the more talked about school subjects, and clipart schools usually are usually portrayed as a red brick building. Therefore, it makes more sense for math to be red as it’s the color associated with school, and a widely talked about subject.
Building off of these stereotypical reasons, science is a green subject. When someone says “science,” oftentimes you’ll picture a beaker with green smoking liquid inside of it. Green is also usually connected to intelligence or correctness, and science is considered one of the more academic subjects. You need to be very smart and study hard in order to go into a science field, so it tracks that it would be green. Green is also one of the colors of the earth, and a lot of sciences have to do with studying living things and the earth. Purple can also be a science color due to the fact that it’s used a lot in drawings and models. In biology, almost every diagram, model, drawing, animation, and so on has some sort of purple in it. Purple and green are heavily featured in science, thus the reason why it’s color is purple. Green should be your first choice, as it’s more commonly associated with science, but purple is a good second choice.
Under no circumstances should science be yellow, but social studies and history sure can be! The color yellow is a remnant of old papers, such as those you study in history. It is also associated with happiness, as I mentioned earlier, and happiness is a very human emotion. Those you study in social studies, history, geography, ect were all human, no matter what they did to solidify their place in the textbooks, and they all felt happiness in one way or another. Yellow was also a common color in old paintings that you might study- humans throughout generations and generations have all used the color yellow for things that would go down in history, so it makes sense that history would be the color yellow. Not only that, but the yellow sun was also an important factor in history- scientific discoveries, ancient religions, migration, the list goes on. The color of history being yellow pays homage to the significance of the sun throughout history and our day to day lives.
Lastly, ELA/English class is blue. Many book covers are blue, and these are the books you’ll read in English. Not only that, but blue is usually associated with easy going and calmness. If you’re reading this, that means you’re probably in SWC and enjoy writing, so English class shouldn’t be too bad for you. Not only that, but pretty much everyone in SWC is fluent in English, so once again, English class probably isn’t too bad. Blue also represents understanding, and analyzing text is crucial in English, so the color of English being blue could also represent the skills needed for that class. Blue is also just a nice color, and deserves a good subject.
So, in conclusion, math is red, science is green (purple is also acceptable), history is yellow, and English is blue. Of course, these colors entirely depend on what color binders or folders you have available, but a considerable effort must be made to match the proper colors to their proper subjects. If you are without a red folder, it’s okay to make math black. However, if you have a green folder and consciously make that your history folder, you’re doing something completely incorrect and you deserve an expulsion.

Daily 3:
Words are Waffle and Table, given by @talented-cookie

Hello and welcome to edible table emporium! Here we sell a plethora of edible tables, and today, I will be showing you our newest model! The Tabaffle! Part table, part waffle. Made with real, genuine, actual, made from scratch waffle. Delicious and tasteful, it’s sure have your guests stuck to the table. Haha. Get it? Stuck? Like, with maple syrup? But also like that they don’t wanna leave your table. Oh, uh, nevermind that. Anyway, it’s completely edible, so when your tired of it, just take a bite! *Chomp* OW! Oops, wrong table! I meant this one, heh heh. And since it’s filled with little holes (You know, like a waffle?), you can store all sort of things in it! And, since it’s made of waffles, it can be the perfect plate for stuff like ice cream! (“But you don’t eat ice cream with a plate?” “Shhh!”) maybe not the best plate for hot sauce, though. (“Who eats straight hot sauce anyways?” “Shh! Be quiet!”) And uh… what else is there to say? Oh right! The Tabaffle is completely portable, just pick it up, and take it where ever you need to go. Since it’s made of waffles, it’s very light weight! Although, uh, it is not waterproof, so don’t get it wet, it will get very soggy and break. (“Oh yeah, your great at advertising.” “Hey! Rude!”) Also, it does not work well with pets, especially with dogs. And goats. (“Do most people have pet goats?” “Shh!”) Since it’s made of real waffles, and dogs and goats like to eat waffles, probably. (“Do they eat waffles?” “Well, if they have good taste they do.”) It also comes with a natural waffle-y aroma, sure to make your house smell like delicious waffles. And, you can fill the holes with melted butter and use it as butter well. You could even serve waffles on it! Perfect for people who love waffles, and want their whole life to be centered around waffles! Anyway, make your house smell delicious and order your own tasty tasteful Tabaffle today! Not for people who think that pancakes are better then waffles. Maple syrup table cloth sold separately.

361 words

]return to table of contents
Daily 3

Mango, firefly -@choco-faerie

We, Sunny's Wonky Company from the SWCity, have the greatest pleasure to introduce to the entirety of SWCitizens oir newest, most prided product, the… drumroll please… mangofly!
This is a decorative item in the shape of a firefly, though slightly bigger in dimension to prevent you from losing it. It is about one centimetres in length and about as much for the height. Do not judge it by its small size, because there is actually a built in automatic system in the mangofly! This newest item presents itself in the shape of a mutated firefly - which can be equalled to a mango with a small pair of wings.
The mangofly is built to fly as a firefly does, meaning very elegantly and swiftly. You can program how high it flies by connecting it with Bluetooth to a device - yes indeed, Bluetooth is built in as well! However, please do note that the mangofly follows the instructions given very precisely, meaning if you program it to fly to a kilometre high, it will, and it would've quite difficult to find it. For reference, we actually had one customer - who happened to be an astronaut, report to us that he ordered his mangofly to go to the moon, where he would be going in a few weeks. He watched as his mangofly flew high up in the sky, and waited for the moment when it fell. That moment did not come. A few weeks later, after he had alreadly forgotten about his mangofly, he was shocked to find it right by the spaceship, on the moon! That's how powerful a mangofly is.
Now, you proabbly want to know how exactly an object capable of such looks like, right? Well, it's in the lovely shade of sunset orangish colour mixed with yellow - a ripe mango. There are two, deep green leaf attached to the tip of the mango, and they actually serve as wings for this item! Yes, two soft leaves allow this mango to fly higher than any one centimetre mango has ever flown! Isn't that exciting?

Another cool feature is that it actually lights up in the dark! Its light is identical to that that a firefly emits. (Don't worry, we did not actually squeeze live fireflies inside the machine… or at least maybe not )

So what are you waiting for? This item is sold at all local stores in SWCity! Go buy one now!
(405 words)

‎‧₊˚✧ 03/03 ✧˚₊‧ I love brunch- waffles and juice and fruit, oh my! Brunch is what's called a portmanteau- combining two words to create a new word that contains the meanings of both of your original words, like cosplay (costume and play) or smog (smoke and fog). Comment three words and then claim two words someone else has commented. Combine those two words and write an advertisement for your new creation! Your ad should be at least 350 words to earn 300 points for your cabin, plus 150 if you share proof!

Glue, highlighter

Come one, come all to get your hands on the extraordinary new invention on the glighlighter! Now, you may be asking yourself ‘what in the world is a glighlighter?’ and we, down at the pointless inventions that don’t work co, have just the answer for you. Have you ever been reading and highlighting a book (And before you judge me, yes, highlighting a book. The creators of the glighlighter do not support highlighting books or do any of the actions described in this scenario.) when suddenly the page tears? I know it’s happened to all of us at least once. And now, you have to get out of your comfortable bed in order to grab tape to fix the page (Or you can leave it torn. Psychotic behavior…) when you could save yourself time by purchasing the glighlighter! No longer would you now have to stand up to get tape, you have glue in your highlighter! And while the glue may not fix the tear in your precious book, after you’re done highlighting you’ll have a block of paper that’s glued together and cannot be opened again! Come on down to the pointless inventions that don’t work co storehouse as soon as possible to get your glighlighter, because they’re flying off the shelves. We have locations in the North Pole, The South Pole and even Atlantis! If none of these locations are accessible to you, go on our website to order one today! With the low shipping fee of thirty-two hundred mangoes, your package of a glighlighter will arrive in about 1 mars year!

Warning: the pointless inventions that don’t work co are not responsible for any damage done to books, people, eyes, nike socks, or tissue paper. If contact with eyes occurs, please flush eyes with mango juice immediately. If ingested, please seek professional attention as soon as possible. Possible side effects may include, but are not limited to puking, rashes, measles, mumps, broken bones, skin cancer, blindness, extra bad rashes, lack of motivation, your swc cabin losing ten thousand points, your device breaking and discoloration in irises.

Quick! Get your completely safe glighlighter from the pointless inventions that don’t work co before they are all gone!

↳ daily 3: march 3rd - 363 words ༉‧₊
the words i chose were: flight and pizza!!
and BAM i made flizza - pronounced fl-iy-zuh
it’s a little cringe but not that bad ;P
ehehe find the Hamilton ref

I bet you’ve always wanted to be able to fly, to be able to run and kick off and spin through the sky.

Well, guess what! A brand new food creation has come to town - a flight pizza, more commonly known as a flizza! The Flizza tastes so good it’ll make you levitate - literally. The ingredients of Flizza makes you fly physically, makes your taste buds soar all the way to heaven and gives your brain a boost too- perfect for work, school and thinking of excuses on the spot.

The magical aura of this Flizza will make your feet lift a few centimetres off the ground for at least a minute per bite. It gives you an opportunity to walk, run and jump through the air with every bite, or just sit in your chair acting nonchalant because there’s no way you’re going to run around in the sky… Awesome, right? It comes with all your usual pizza toppings; cheese, pepperoni, mushrooms and even pineapple.

Such a sensation has never been seen, felt, or tasted before. However, it is entirely foolproof and one hundred percent safe - this product has been tried and tested to absolute perfection for your safety. Furthermore, it isn’t just some soggy mess that makes you fly, it’s the most tongue tingling tummy warming feet flying taste awakening thing you will ever try- our chefs are all extremely experienced and have worked very hard to create recipes for the

warmest
cheesiest
freshest
tastiest

Flizza ever, with thoughtfully chosen toppings and high quality sauce.

Even though Flizza makes you rise up both on the inside and the outside, the price is wonderfully low - affordable and accessible. We are introducing a SPECIAL 3 FOR 2 OFFER to celebrate launch week so make sure you rush to buy these!

So what are you waiting for? Flizza is the ideal meal for any situation - pizza nights, birthday parties, school discos, et cetera! The most special memories will be created as well as having bonds being made; flying for the first time really is an unforgettable event.

Flizza will hit the stores next week - keep an eye out!

Daily #3
3/2-3/2025
391 words

lychiez wrote:

chair, ribbon, ring

Your thumb presses the red power button on the tv remote and you sit back into the couch. The television screen crackles to life, static toying at the edges, and a synth starts playing through the speakers.

“Now introducing the Chairing!” a voice booms, as the music softens. “Wear it on your finger as a timeless statement piece. A versatile magical wooden piece that will add the extra special touch to any outfit you wear. Watch it as you place it on the ground and with just a press, opens up into a chair!”

Fanfare plays as the chair appears with a flourish of confetti falling from the top of the screen.

“Out on a hike and need to rest your legs a bit? Grab your Chairing on the go! Finding yourself at an overcrowded party with no exits in sight? Open up your Chairing and rest for a while! Running in a marathon with an unbeatable opponent? The rulebooks say nothing about… The Chairing! Toss it in their lane and watch them fumble in confusion as a wooden chair pops up in their path.”

Each mention of ‘The Chairing’ comes with a trumpet jingle, as the video clips of the different scenarios transition in and out. It lands on the still image of an athlete stumbling over a toppled Chairing that fades to white, and a blurred image comes into focus.

“The Chairing. Get it at your local IkeaWC warehouse. Limited edition Chairing with rose gold plating are available at select stores now!
“Classic, sleek, portable. The Chairing.”

The displayed Chairing, in both chair and ring form, rotate on the screen and a blue bar appears at the bottom of the screen, yellow text starting to scroll over.

A sped up feminine voice starts to read.

“Side effects of The Chairing include but is not limited to: panic inducing states of claustrophobia as the ring starts to squeeze your finger, the mistransformation of a chair or vice versa at inconvenient times, obsession with the Chairing that causes your family to move away from you and cut off contact, a mad injured athlete that cannot sue the ChairingTM but you-”

The voice drones on, speeding up until the words are no longer comprehensible. The screen turns black and a phrase flashes, before the music abruptly stops.

**This product does not exist**

{Daily #3}
School, recycle, tree (from @lunhwa)
Create a portmanteau from two of these words and then write an advertisement for your newfound product. I chose recycle and tree.
Word Count: 389/350 words
Notes: OMG this is kinda all over the place but that's okay!!!

Looking for a way to spruce up your front yard? Do you want your house to have a pleasing glimpse into the forest life? Are you tired of living in cities lacking trees? If you long for any- or all- of those things, you’re in luck, for Em’s Amazing Inventions, inc. has come up with a great new way to bring nature to your front yard. So what is our great idea, you may ask? The answer is simple: TREE- cycling bins! How do they work? Em’s Amazing Inventions, inc’s TREE-cycling bins are a great way to add a bit of forest fun to your front yard. The bins, made of high-quality plastic and handmade for the most beautiful effect, are perfect for holding your weekly recycling needs- whether it be bottles, cans, or glass. These TREE-cycling bins are lovingly constructed in Canada to look exactly like- you guessed it!- trees! These bins are a great way to add that rural feel to your boring city backyard. The TREE-cycling bins are also equipped with a couple great features, making them worth their money. Firstly, our TREE-cycling bins are created out of sturdy recycled plastic, making them not only good for you, but also good for the environment! Secondly, the bins are equipped with high-functioning wheels that make it easy to roll them down to the curb on trash day. Finally, each TREE-cycling bin is unique. Each has its own unique branch placement, so if you buy multiple, your yard will never look boring!!! Customers also have a lot to say in praise of our TREE-cycling bins.
“WHAT DID YOU SAY? KREE-CYCLING DINS? NO THANKS!” - Grandma Shoepaw
“These bins are great for all your recycling needs! (also, when do I get my money?)” - Sir Ducks-a-Lot
“Chitter, chitter. CHITTER!”* -Harold the Squirrel
“I wike my wecycling bin. It wooks wike a twee!” - Marie (3 years)
“Cool.” - Bob
As you can see, customers are absolutely IN LOVE with our TREE-cycling bins (do you get the pun yet???). So go get your TREE-cycling bins from Em’s Amazing Inventions, inc., and enjoy your beautiful front yard. Also, if you order now, we’ll give you a whopping one percent off your order! So order now, you won’t regret it!

The price of the average TREE-cycling bin is about $1,000,000 USD.
*”Tree, acorn. FOOD!”

Introducing The Carttle (Car Bottle) (386 words)
Have you ever been sitting in a car when, suddenly, you realize that the car's entire supply of pancake batter has run completely dry? Or perhaps you've wanted to make a bowl of cereal in your car, only to realize that you don't have any milk. These are real problems faced every day by SWCers, and we at SWCompany have finally come up with a solution to these prevalent challenges.

Introducing the Carttle, SWC's favorite liquid receptacle - for your car! It's been tested and approved for over seventy-four different liquids, including eggnog, vanilla extract, tempura sauce, and liquid helium. The Carttle is capable of ten different dispensing functions, including a pouring top, bendy straw, eye dropper, and a brand-new fountain function, which was artfully designed specifically for cats who refuse to drink still water.

But that's not the point of this ad. We didn't have the budget to run a survey, but we estimate that 3.5% of SWCers already own this amazing product. We're here to sell you on the newest, greatest Carttle: The Carttle 2.0!

The Carttle 2.0 is specifically designed for disasters: spilling, running out, and when it goes down the wrong tube. If you spill the liquid in your car, the newest version of the Carttle is equipped with a vacuum nozzle and a drier that can heat up to 120ºF. If you run out of the liquid, there's still nothing we can do, but it's twice as large, so that's twice as unlikely to happen.

This version also comes in six snazzy new colors, in addition to the previous nine. The new line of colors includes stainless steel, creole mustard, purple, neon purple, eggshell brown, and pastel gray. This version of the Carttle has new designs, new functions, and one of those little dentist water hose things, for those occasions when you need to shoot liquids as thick as tartar sauce at the PSI used in metalloid mining.* So, what are you waiting for? Pick up your Carttle today and use promocode “SWC50” at checkout to get 64% off your next order!

*Probably not, but it sounds cool and there's nobody saying that dentist water hose things don't use the same PSI as metalloid mining. In fact, I don't even know what part of metalloid mining requires any PSI at all.

words from ChueyTheCat! tardigrade, noodle, balloon

354 words
There’s one pet you can never go wrong with. A goldfish will die in under a week; dogs and cats require too much maintenance. If you’re the person who has even managed to kill off both your succulents and aloe, the tardiloon is perfect for you!
A tardiloon is similar to a tardigrade, just inflated to the size of your choosing! Just like a balloon, you can adjust the size of your tardiloon pet. This pet is perfect if you need a pocket-size companion and a portable couch right after the next. You’ll never have to worry about fitting your tardiloon in the car or having anywhere to sit ever again.
If you’re going on a long trip, don’t worry about your tardiloon at all. It doesn’t matter how jam-packed and busy your schedule is, since they’re very minimal maintenance. Leave them without water, and your pet will just go into cryptobiosis! Your tardiloon might look dead, but we assure you, it isn’t. We guarantee they’ll be fine for up to a few years–perfect! No need to hire a pet-sitter at all, as long as you’re back before its cryptobiosis expiration date.
Do you enjoy the extremes? Your wilting and withering garden certainly doesn’t, but your tardiloon can enjoy them with you–this incredibly resilient pet will withstand the hot and the cold! We acknowledge that you can’t bring your tardiloon swimming in molten lava with you, but go on all of those arctic adventures and deep sea explorations on your bucket list!
Would you prefer a work companion? Scientists will enjoy having their tardiloon as a lab partner. If you happen to be working with a lot of radiation, your tardiloon won’t perish (but you might!).
And for the more adventurous, if you’re heading into space, feel free to bring your tardiloon with you. We guarantee that they will survive for a while (read our manual for more information regarding space forays). We do not recommend a joint spacewalk without proper precautions.
*The tardiloon will float up into the sky if brought outside; keep indoors.
**Just because the tardiloon won’t die, you still can.

⋆ daily march 3rd: portmanteau ad (yapping, mango - thanks @.prishaJuni :))
sitting lonely on the top shelf of your local grocery store, you notice a shiny box that definitely hadn’t been there a second prior - it’s a lovely orange and green gradient, and coated in that iridescent sticker material thing. its front side is facing away from you, leaving only the information on the back exposed. the paragraph is too small to read, but the action-comic words are bright and clear, exclaiming: Yango!!
well, now you’re curious. what could possibly be inside the box? is it a yellow tango?
you gingerly pluck it off of the shelf, turning it over; and promptly scream. surprise! it’s a perfectly ripe mango with juicy, hyperrealistic (or are they real?) human lips plastered to the front.
you just have to read the back at this point.

⋆ YAPPING MANGO! ⋆
“hey, esteemed customer! yes, you! are you bored? do you desperately wish you had someone to talk to right now? do you have no friends at school? did your best friend leave you for someone else? (we offer one on one therapy too, dial us for that)
are you also hungry, which is completely related to the previous topic? well, we have fantastic news for you! today, we’re introducing the all new, super innovative YAPPING MANGO! it’s exactly what it sounds like - our little guy here can talk to you about whatever you desire (including a cheaper therapy alternative)! he can be your friend, y̶͔͗ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓r̵̡͕͈͚͍͍̼͕̍̀̈́̽̎̍͗̍́̏̚͜͠ m̵̢͕̫̓̔͑̊̈ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅm̵̢͕̫̓̔͑̊̈, another parental figure, or even your teacher if you need some help on that calculus homework! we at the company have found a mango to be extremely portable, so you can even carry the Yango to school with you! plus, bringing a fruit to school is a legal alternative to kidnapping someone to be friends with :thumbs_up:
oh, yeah. are you hungry? (we haven’t asked that yet right) well the Yango is also just a normal mango! when you’re done having your conversation, or if you didn’t agree with his last remark, you can just eat him! this nice delicious and refreshing mango came straight from a quaint farm in thailand, so it’s ensured to be top tier. dig in, my friend!”
product disclaimers: Yango inc. is not responsible for anything your chosen Yango says. this includes no-no words, threats, or controversial remarks. be comforted by the fact that your Yango can’t actually hurt you! (not lab tested)
Yango might scream when being eaten. that’s fine, just ignore him.
choking hazard for children under 3.

you don’t know how to feel. shocked, concerned, or slightly repulsed? maybe you should have sent your sister out to buy the vegetables instead.
you blink away this monstrosity and set the box back onto the shelf, front facing away as it had been. you wish the next person good luck.