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her inner child
poem by @peppermintangel

she was falling
and she was falling hard

falling deeper into his eyes
exactly like the ocean

because once she swam
she never swam out

the deepest of blues
and the brightest of eyes

oh how she wanted
to stay in that fantasy of
a dream

wanted to stay in his dream

wanted to be in one of those fairytales
with her as the princess
and him as the prince

wanted to be apart of a book
with a happily ever after

wanted to stop worrying
and wanted to start loving

she wanted that fierce love
that unconditional love
wanted that real love

and she wanted to share it all
with him
and him alone

how she would give up
her soul
and life
just to live
in that dream

she wished she could love
like they did in the movies,

she wanted to love
like they did in stories,

the select few realities
that turned out well

she wanted to live
she wanted to breathe

but this was no fairytale,
and her prince was blind
and in love with someone else

her castle was an apartment
and her dress was a t-shirt

her happily ever after
was just a fake smile,

along with the moments
of bliss
shadowed by the past
filled with hurt

her story wasn’t a fairytale
and, everyday,
she cursed and apologized
to her inner child,

saying sorry for not becoming
a princess like they wanted to

and being mad that
they ever thought
that they could
or that life was an easy ride

she is what she
thinks she is,




and she thinks she
is a story crafted
by Grim himself


i am her inner child

i am all those past hopes and dreams
all those years with carefree living

i am still there,
buried underneath
everything else,
but still there

i am her dreams
and her happily ever after

i am her inner child

i am that hope

i am fighting
a constant battle
between her worries
and her demons
her doubts
and her wounds

i am her

we’re different
yet still all the same

if only she could just believe,
then maybe i would be given
a chance to breathe

she’s trying.
and i see her.

if only she could see me,
and see how hard i’m trying too

why i kept the lights on
poem by @peppermintangel

keeping the lights on
even if i can’t sleep

because you were
the last one to turn them on

keeping the lights on,
in hopes that you’ll
come back

and come home


i wait hours
and days

the electricity bills
are going up

and the lightbulbs
are almost dead

i stare at the door
still hearing the jingle
of your keys

and the starting
of your old ford

as you went to work

and as you came home
with eyebags and a smile

i kept them on
until the light bulbs
flicker off

one
last
time



and i let out
one silent tear

rocking myself
back
and
forth

such a loud whisper
of your voice that i
still hear

echoing through
the halls

it feels to empty
without you

i cry
even if it’s pathetic
and remember
your voice
and
your everything

i mourn
in darkness

and will for as long
as i have to

until someone else
comes along,
and fills the empty halls


until someone
flicks back on
the light
just as you did,

i’ll stay here,
and wait for you

praying and hoping
that this was all
just a horrible nightmare

hoping one day,
i’ll wake up
to the blinding light

but until then,

i’ll hope
in darkness,
in what i wish
is a dream

are you proud of me?
by: @peppermintangel

to somebody i used to know,
look where i am now!

are you proud of me?

please say that you are,

because it was so hard
to piece myself back together
right after you ripped me apart
as easily as a piece of paper

are you proud of me,

for letting you break me,
just like you broke all
of your stupid promises?

are you proud of me?

i trusted you
even when the blood
on your hands
foreshadowed
the killer
that i didn’t
see

i ignored it
i ignored them

just so i could
be with you

gosh, i was so blind,

i gave you a chance
just like all the other people
who are too nice
and kind

just like the world,
that doesn’t deserve you

are you proud of me?


i kept killing myself
and held my breath
longer than my lungs
could bear
trapped
underneath
the riptide

just to give
the person who
sunk my head
further underwater
a chance to breathe

are you proud of me?

because i survived even when
you tried killing me

over
and
over

i survived,
but i don’t
believe many
of your little
playthings did

though it was not
without scars
that are scored into
my sides

not without feeling
the burning of my chest
as my lungs screamed
relentlessly
for air
for real love

not without feeling
the breaking of my heart

at your words
and at your steps
as you walked
further away

i miss you,
but not the ‘you’
i see now,
with evil eyes
and a cold gaze,

i miss the ‘you’ with
the warm and kind eyes
the ‘you’ that i fell for
the ‘you’ that i loved

now your stack of people
that you “loved”
grows higher
each day

and with each new,
broken soul
i meet,
i try to cry out
to the next,
in hopes they
will hear my warning,
instead of pushing it away
just as i did

what a pretty little liar
dressed as an angel

but, then again,
nobody expects
an angel to burn
the world


so again, i ask,
are you proud of me?

or perhaps,
you’re bored of
the question,
just like you got
bored of all the others
who fell for you

so, i’ll enlighten you
with a new one,
that i hope will
convince you,
or make you notice
what you’ve done to me

are you proud of yourself?

i sure hope you are,
and hope you find joy
in crushing the hearts
of foolish young children
who haven’t yet tasted
what it’s like to be betrayed
by someone they thought
loved them

though it hurts me to know
that all the dreams we shared
were never sincere,

i know it doesn’t affect you
as much as i hoped it would,

for all i am now,
is a drop of blood
on those hands,

now the foreshadowing
that everyone will ignore



i cry out in desperation
knowing that every
‘i love you’
is a lie,

fearing the worst,
as you break
more
and
more
hearts

dampening
the light of
countless
young souls
like me

a story bled on paper
by: @peppermintangel
no,
the story
isn’t perfect

it’s bloody
and filled with
moments

where i just wanted
everything
to end

so i could finally
enjoy some
peace,
with just me
and my thoughts

you can see my fear,
in every sentence,

how i’m

paranoid

in every paragraph,

but i take the leap
and the chance
that might destroy
everything

but don’t know why,

i fail
over
and
over

in hopes of scoring
just a second
of happiness


i’ll keep going,
just for me,
and maybe for him,
and see where it takes me,


and though i’m scared,
holding his hand
makes my hopes rise
all the more

maybe with him,
i’ll become less
and less
scared

i’ll keep taking my chances,
losing apart of myself
with each passing chapter

i don’t cry,
but rather,
i bleed on pages

which’ll spell the story
of who i am

and soon they become
my story
and my life
and me

but when the pages are growing thin,
i’ll keep reading on
until the very last word

i’ll make decisions
i want to make
even when the burden
is heavy

because without risk,
there’s no story

the things we can't forget
by: @peppermintangel


it’s hard to forget something
that caused me so much joy
but so much pain


it’s hard to forget something
that gave me so much
to fall for


it’s hard to forget something
when it gave me so many memories


it’s hard to forget something
that made life more living


it’s hard to forget something
that i thought would last forever


it’s hard to forget something
that was your entire life
thoughts
and
everything

at some point


it’s hard to forget
late-night
conversations

and

dreams

to just give up
on all i thought
might be real



oh my god,

why is it so hard
to forget you?