AnimatorsParadise wrote:

DerpyPig03 wrote:

4. Can I use Ronin? Not Clint Barton, just kinda the suit/concept

I don't think Ronin has been explicitly mentioned before, but I'm not completely sure.

I might use Ronin in Invaders.

DerpyPig03 wrote:

Hey everyone,

Okay, I've been doing some brainstorming (and actually a little bit of drafting) for Wolverine 2 and I have a couple questions regarding the APMU, what characters I can/can't use, etc.

BIG QUESTIONS
1. I originally had a role for Elektra, but she is a no-go… Any suggestions for replacements?

2. I have some flashback scenes from Wolvie's past in Japan planned. When should these take place? I was thinking late 40s/early 50s with some references to Hiroshima.

3. As of now, I have no plans to include Sabretooth, X-23, Stryker, or Omega Red… should I try and add them in?

4. Can I use Ronin? Not Clint Barton, just kinda the suit/conceptT

5. There are a ton of Japanese-speaking characters I have planned. How should that play out? Should they speak Japanese with English subtitles? Or just speak English and pretend it’s Japanese?

SMALLER QUESTIONS
1. I am planning on using Stick and the Chaste… I assume that's okay as they're pretty heavily tied with the Hand

2. In the APMU, do the X-Men exist at this point? Should Wolvie reference them? Can Wolvie reference Xavier's school?

3. In the APMU, what's the public consensus on mutants? Do people know they exist? Are they feared? If citizens saw some guy flying around shooting laser beams, would they think they're a mutant?

4. Wolvie's old friend who calls him to Japan is named Ichiro… Ichiro's son's name is Shiro. Are those names too similar? Should I change one of them?



Once these are answered, I can walk you all through an outline if you'd like. Thanks for helping me out with these everybody.

1. Lady Deathstrike might work? Or Blindspot, like they suggested.
2. Whatever you decide
3. The fate of Sabretooth and Stryker after W:H should be mentioned. Maybe in the X-23 show, Department K is shut down and that's how Laura escapes, and Stryker is arrested. Sabretooth escaped from Team X in Wolverine: Heatwave, maybe just mention where he's been. As Marv said, Laura / X-23 shouldn't show up, but she should probably be mentioned. Omega Red shouldn't show up as he's imprisoned for life in The Raft, but his defeat at the hands of the Wolverine could be mentioned in a conversation, I guess.
4. I'm not sure on this one, Monsoon said he might use him in Invaders but you'd have to consult
5. I'd say don't be afraid to let ‘em speak Japanese, and just put in English subtitles

1. That’s fine, as Marv said.
2. I think they're introduced later, so probably not
3. They are very feared / hated.
4. Should be fine.

MusikMan made a theme for Heatwave, by the way.

Monsoon_Man wrote:

AnimatorsParadise wrote:

DerpyPig03 wrote:

4. Can I use Ronin? Not Clint Barton, just kinda the suit/concept

I don't think Ronin has been explicitly mentioned before, but I'm not completely sure.

I might use Ronin in Invaders.

If I were to get permission to use Ronin, he likely would not be explicitly called Ronin. However, Ronin was small detail toward the end of the story, so omitting him is no big deal

DerpyPig03 wrote:

Hey everyone,

Okay, I've been doing some brainstorming (and actually a little bit of drafting) for Wolverine 2 and I have a couple questions regarding the APMU, what characters I can/can't use, etc.

BIG QUESTIONS
1. I originally had a role for Elektra, but she is a no-go… Any suggestions for replacements?

2. I have some flashback scenes from Wolvie's past in Japan planned. When should these take place? I was thinking late 40s/early 50s with some references to Hiroshima.

3. As of now, I have no plans to include Sabretooth, X-23, Stryker, or Omega Red… should I try and add them in?

4. Can I use Ronin? Not Clint Barton, just kinda the suit/conceptT

5. There are a ton of Japanese-speaking characters I have planned. How should that play out? Should they speak Japanese with English subtitles? Or just speak English and pretend it’s Japanese?

SMALLER QUESTIONS
1. I am planning on using Stick and the Chaste… I assume that's okay as they're pretty heavily tied with the Hand

2. In the APMU, do the X-Men exist at this point? Should Wolvie reference them? Can Wolvie reference Xavier's school?

3. In the APMU, what's the public consensus on mutants? Do people know they exist? Are they feared? If citizens saw some guy flying around shooting laser beams, would they think they're a mutant?

4. Wolvie's old friend who calls him to Japan is named Ichiro… Ichiro's son's name is Shiro. Are those names too similar? Should I change one of them?



Once these are answered, I can walk you all through an outline if you'd like. Thanks for helping me out with these everybody.

Thanks for all the answers everybody!

Here's the verdict for each point. Lemme know if there are any objections

1. Gonna go with Blindspot as Elektra's replacement
2. The flashbacks will be in the late 40s/early 50s with references to the aftermath of WWII
3. I'll add some references to (A) the fate of Sabretooth and Styrker (B) the fact that X-23 is a thing and (C) possibly that Omega Red is in prison. I may request help in writing these small lines to ensure there are no continuity problems
4. I won't use Ronin
5. Some characters will speak Japanese with English subtitles

1. Stick and the Chaste will be in the movie
2. X-Men will not be mentioned
3. Mutants will be feared by the public
4. Ichiro and Shiro will keep their names

AnimatorsParadise wrote:

MusikMan made a theme for Heatwave, by the way.

Awesome! I'd love to hear an “ancient Japanese” “ninja-y” “samurai-y” theme for Wolverine II from MusikMan

DerpyPig03 wrote:

AnimatorsParadise wrote:

MusikMan made a theme for Heatwave, by the way.

Awesome! I'd love to hear an “ancient Japanese” “ninja-y” “samurai-y” theme for Wolverine II from MusikMan

Yeah, that would sound epic

Alright, here it is… the Outline and a preliminary Character List… bum bum bum…

CHARACTER LIST v1
Protagonists

• Logan
  
• Daredevil/Matt Murdock
  
• Yukio
  
• Mariko Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Amiko Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Shingen Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Ichiro Yashida
  
• Sunfire/Shiro Yashida
  
• Stick
  
• Blindspot/Samuel Chung (member of the Hand, who is secretly a spy for the Chaste)
  

Antagonists

• The Chaos King/Amatsu-Mikaboshi
  
• The Silver Samurai/Keniuchio Yashida
  
• Tomi Shishido
  
• Lady Deathstrike
  
• The Black Tarantula
  
• Muramasa (prologue only)
  

OUTLINE v1

1. Prologue - Similar to the opening of the first Peter Jackson LOTR film, we begin with Mariko telling the story of the origins of the Hand and the Chaste. How Amatsu-Mikaboshi is a monstrous demon who has been imprisoned since the birth of the universe, a demon the Hand worship and seek to free. To do so, the Hand's founder, Muramasa, forged a blade of pure darkness, the Godkiller, to free Amatsu-Mikaboshi's spirit. To stop them, the Chaste formed and forged their own blade of pure light, the Grasscutter. With the Grasscutter, the Chaste killed Muramasa, stopped Amatsu-Mikaboshi from being freed, and stole the Godkiller blade to guard it for all eternity
   
2. Hiroshima, 1945 - We abruptly cut to Logan fighting in Japan during WWII. He gets captured by Japanese soldiers just as the atomic bomb is dropped. Logan saves the Japanese soldiers and uses his healing factor to brave the blast to save a trapped older soldier, Shingen
   Opening Credits and Title Card
   
3. Present Day - Picking up from the Heatwave PCS, Logan gets called to Japan by Ichiro and the move gets going.
   
4. Act One - From this point on, we will cut between Present Day and Logan's past in Japan, for simplicity sake, I will summarize the events of each separately.
   
5. Summary of Flashback Scenes - Because Logan saved Shingen from the a-bomb, Shingen becomes friends with Logan and introduces him to his daughter, Mariko. Logan and Mariko fall in love and get married. Mariko's brother, Keniuchio is outraged that they have brought an Westerner into the family. Keniuchio threatens to kill Logan, but Logan and Mariko move on with their lives and have a daughter, Amiko. A few years later (probably ‘53-’54 by now) Amiko is a young girl and, for the first time in his life, Logan is happy. Keniuchio returns and kills Shingen, his father, and claims the family's ancient keepsake, the Godkiller blade. Horrified when hearing of the news, Mariko explains that Shingen was a member of the Chaste and the importance of the Godkiller blade. Logan insists to Mariko that he must find Keniuchio and stop him. Logan finds Keniuchio, who has donned his family's ancestral Silver Samurai armor, Logan tries to talk to him, but Keniuchio insists on battling to the death. The two battle, Keniuchio explains that Logan has destroyed his family's honor, and for that he will make Logan suffer. Logan cracks a joke about his healing factor and not being able to suffer. Keniuchio, with a sick grin, says he will not destroy Logan with physical pain. Logan, in a shock of horror, realizes he left Mariko and Amiko alone. Logan hurls Keniuchio and the Godkiller blade out of a window and rushes home. Logan returns to find his home and ashes and his wife and daughter dead. Logan crumbles to the ground, weeps, and screams into the sky
   
6. Summary of Present Day Scenes - Logan flies to Japan and meets the mysterious Yukio on the plane. Logan arrives in Japan and is attacked by Hand Warriors. Logan finds that by some black magick, the warriors cannot be killed unless they are stabbed in the head. Logan meets up with the one who called him to Japan, Ichiro, whose is an ex-PSIA agent and Mariko's nephew. Ichiro's explains his son, Shiro, has been kidnapped by a crime lord named Shishido. Logan agrees to help rescue Shiro. Logan and Ichiro head to Tokyo where they interrogate on of Shishido's accomplices, the Black Tarantula, to learn Shishido's base of operations is in Kyoto. In Tokyo, the pair also recruit Yukio, who is revealed to be an old friend of Ichiro and a SHIELD agent. The trio arrve in Kyoto, where they must fend off dozens of Hand Warriors led by Lady Deathstrike. An epic battle ensues, with Logan killing Deathstrike. The group finally meets Shishido, who reveals himself as the new leader of the Hand. The group also meets Shishido's right-hand man… plot twist… it's Keniuchio!!! He was kept young through the Hand's dark magic. The Hand has the Godkiller sword but can't use it because Amatsu-Mikaboshi is so destructive that he would instantly kill any host, even their dark magic cannot combat it. Shishido reveals they captured Shiro to lure Logan there to use Logan as Amatsu-Mikaboshi's new host. Logan, Yukio, and Ichiro battle Shishido, Keniuchio, and another Hand warrior, Blindspot, over the fate of Logan and Shiro. Logan gives himself up to allow Yukio, Ichiro, and Shiro to escape. Alone, Logan is given the Godkiller blade and possessed by Amatsu-Mikaboshi.
   
7. Act Two - At this point, the flashbacks are over and the rest of the movie is present day. Yukio reports all that happened to Director Fury. Meanwhile, possessed Wolverine (whom I will refer to as Hellverine for simplicity sake) launches an attack against the Chaste to destroy the Grasscutter blade, the only thing that can stop him. We cut to Matt Murdock in court, who is startled by the sudden arrival of Fury in the courtroom. Matt calls for a recess to talk with Fury, who explains the situation. Matt explains his connection to the Chaste (through his old mentor, Stick) and heads out to the Chaste's secret sanctuary. Hellverine and the Hand attack the Chaste and have an epic battle with Stick and the Chaste warriors. The Hand is triumphant and destroy the Grasscutter blade. Daredevil meets up with Yukio and the two arrive the find the Chaste's hideout in ruins. DD finds Stick dying. In his dying breath, Stick explains that the Grasscutter sword that Hand destroyed was a dummy and directs DD to the real sword
   
8. Act Three - DD and Yukio launch an attack on the Hand's sanctuary as Hellverine begins eclipsing Japan into supernatural darkness. While Yukio fends off Shishido and Blindspot, DD and Hellverine have an epic battle with the Grasscutter and Godkiller in hand. DD manages to stab Hellverine with the Grasscutter, driving out Amatsu-Mikaboshi. The Godkiller clatters to the floor as Logan regains his senses. Logan reaches out to slice up the Godkiller, but is halted by Silver Samurai. Silver Samurai reveals he has captured Ichiro and Shiro, he cackles to Logan and announces that this will be the second time he has killed Logan's family. It is in this moment, Ichiro and Shiro realize Logan is their ancestor (Ichiro's uncle). The stress causes Shiro's mutant gene to be activated and he transforms into Sunfire. Witht the Hand's plan falling apart, Shishido reaches out in desperation to the Godkiller blade, knowing full well he will die if Amatsu-Mikaboshi possesses him. Just before he can grab the blade, Blindspot–revealing he was a spy for the Chaste–kills Shishido and Logan shatters the cursed sword with his claws. Thinking the Hand are finally beaten, Logan, DD, Yukio, Ichiro, Sunfire, and Blindspot breathe a sigh of relief. However, Silver Samurai, hideously scarred by Sunfire's attack, emerges and plunges one of the shards of the Godkiller sword into his chest. Silver Samurai is possessed by Amatsu-Mikaboshi. Knowing that his host will die soon, Amatsu-Mikaboshi lunges at Logan, who orders DD to get everyone out of there. Logan and the possessed Silver Samurai engage in a final, epic battle ending with Logan beheading the vile demon who murdered his family so long ago with the Grasscutter blade.
   
9. Epilogue - Logan thanks DD for his help as DD heads back to NYC. Yukio offers Blindspot a position at SHIELD, he rejects it, saying he is the last member of the Chaste and must continue their legacy and protect the Grasscutter blade. The story is wrapped up with Logan comforting Shiro about his mutant powers (and possibly mentioning that he knows a school for kids like him?). Logan thinks back to his wife, Mariko, and his daughter, Amiko, and he smiles.
   
10. PCS - Then we would add any necessary PCS set-up for the next project
    

Okay… that was a lot… thoughts?

DerpyPig03 wrote:

Alright, here it is… the Outline and a preliminary Character List… bum bum bum…

CHARACTER LIST v1
Protagonists

• Logan
  
• Daredevil/Matt Murdock
  
• Yukio
  
• Mariko Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Amiko Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Shingen Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Ichiro Yashida
  
• Sunfire/Shiro Yashida
  
• Stick
  
• Blindspot/Samuel Chung (member of the Hand, who is secretly a spy for the Chaste)
  

Antagonists

• The Chaos King/Amatsu-Mikaboshi
  
• The Silver Samurai/Keniuchio Yashida
  
• Tomi Shishido
  
• Lady Deathstrike
  
• The Black Tarantula
  
• Muramasa (prologue only)
  

OUTLINE v1

1. Prologue - Similar to the opening of the first Peter Jackson LOTR film, we begin with Mariko telling the story of the origins of the Hand and the Chaste. How Amatsu-Mikaboshi is a monstrous demon who has been imprisoned since the birth of the universe, a demon the Hand worship and seek to free. To do so, the Hand's founder, Muramasa, forged a blade of pure darkness, the Godkiller, to free Amatsu-Mikaboshi's spirit. To stop them, the Chaste formed and forged their own blade of pure light, the Grasscutter. With the Grasscutter, the Chaste killed Muramasa, stopped Amatsu-Mikaboshi from being freed, and stole the Godkiller blade to guard it for all eternity
   
2. Hiroshima, 1945 - We abruptly cut to Logan fighting in Japan during WWII. He gets captured by Japanese soldiers just as the atomic bomb is dropped. Logan saves the Japanese soldiers and uses his healing factor to brave the blast to save a trapped older soldier, Shingen
   Opening Credits and Title Card
   
3. Present Day - Picking up from the Heatwave PCS, Logan gets called to Japan by Ichiro and the move gets going.
   
4. Act One - From this point on, we will cut between Present Day and Logan's past in Japan, for simplicity sake, I will summarize the events of each separately.
   
5. Summary of Flashback Scenes - Because Logan saved Shingen from the a-bomb, Shingen becomes friends with Logan and introduces him to his daughter, Mariko. Logan and Mariko fall in love and get married. Mariko's brother, Keniuchio is outraged that they have brought an Westerner into the family. Keniuchio threatens to kill Logan, but Logan and Mariko move on with their lives and have a daughter, Amiko. A few years later (probably ‘53-’54 by now) Amiko is a young girl and, for the first time in his life, Logan is happy. Keniuchio returns and kills Shingen, his father, and claims the family's ancient keepsake, the Godkiller blade. Horrified when hearing of the news, Mariko explains that Shingen was a member of the Chaste and the importance of the Godkiller blade. Logan insists to Mariko that he must find Keniuchio and stop him. Logan finds Keniuchio, who has donned his family's ancestral Silver Samurai armor, Logan tries to talk to him, but Keniuchio insists on battling to the death. The two battle, Keniuchio explains that Logan has destroyed his family's honor, and for that he will make Logan suffer. Logan cracks a joke about his healing factor and not being able to suffer. Keniuchio, with a sick grin, says he will not destroy Logan with physical pain. Logan, in a shock of horror, realizes he left Mariko and Amiko alone. Logan hurls Keniuchio and the Godkiller blade out of a window and rushes home. Logan returns to find his home and ashes and his wife and daughter dead. Logan crumbles to the ground, weeps, and screams into the sky
   
6. Summary of Present Day Scenes - Logan flies to Japan and meets the mysterious Yukio on the plane. Logan arrives in Japan and is attacked by Hand Warriors. Logan finds that by some black magick, the warriors cannot be killed unless they are stabbed in the head. Logan meets up with the one who called him to Japan, Ichiro, whose is an ex-PSIA agent and Mariko's nephew. Ichiro's explains his son, Shiro, has been kidnapped by a crime lord named Shishido. Logan agrees to help rescue Shiro. Logan and Ichiro head to Tokyo where they interrogate on of Shishido's accomplices, the Black Tarantula, to learn Shishido's base of operations is in Kyoto. In Tokyo, the pair also recruit Yukio, who is revealed to be an old friend of Ichiro and a SHIELD agent. The trio arrve in Kyoto, where they must fend off dozens of Hand Warriors led by Lady Deathstrike. An epic battle ensues, with Logan killing Deathstrike. The group finally meets Shishido, who reveals himself as the new leader of the Hand. The group also meets Shishido's right-hand man… plot twist… it's Keniuchio!!! He was kept young through the Hand's dark magic. The Hand has the Godkiller sword but can't use it because Amatsu-Mikaboshi is so destructive that he would instantly kill any host, even their dark magic cannot combat it. Shishido reveals they captured Shiro to lure Logan there to use Logan as Amatsu-Mikaboshi's new host. Logan, Yukio, and Ichiro battle Shishido, Keniuchio, and another Hand warrior, Blindspot, over the fate of Logan and Shiro. Logan gives himself up to allow Yukio, Ichiro, and Shiro to escape. Alone, Logan is given the Godkiller blade and possessed by Amatsu-Mikaboshi.
   
7. Act Two - At this point, the flashbacks are over and the rest of the movie is present day. Yukio reports all that happened to Director Fury. Meanwhile, possessed Wolverine (whom I will refer to as Hellverine for simplicity sake) launches an attack against the Chaste to destroy the Grasscutter blade, the only thing that can stop him. We cut to Matt Murdock in court, who is startled by the sudden arrival of Fury in the courtroom. Matt calls for a recess to talk with Fury, who explains the situation. Matt explains his connection to the Chaste (through his old mentor, Stick) and heads out to the Chaste's secret sanctuary. Hellverine and the Hand attack the Chaste and have an epic battle with Stick and the Chaste warriors. The Hand is triumphant and destroy the Grasscutter blade. Daredevil meets up with Yukio and the two arrive the find the Chaste's hideout in ruins. DD finds Stick dying. In his dying breath, Stick explains that the Grasscutter sword that Hand destroyed was a dummy and directs DD to the real sword
   
8. Act Three - DD and Yukio launch an attack on the Hand's sanctuary as Hellverine begins eclipsing Japan into supernatural darkness. While Yukio fends off Shishido and Blindspot, DD and Hellverine have an epic battle with the Grasscutter and Godkiller in hand. DD manages to stab Hellverine with the Grasscutter, driving out Amatsu-Mikaboshi. The Godkiller clatters to the floor as Logan regains his senses. Logan reaches out to slice up the Godkiller, but is halted by Silver Samurai. Silver Samurai reveals he has captured Ichiro and Shiro, he cackles to Logan and announces that this will be the second time he has killed Logan's family. It is in this moment, Ichiro and Shiro realize Logan is their ancestor (Ichiro's uncle). The stress causes Shiro's mutant gene to be activated and he transforms into Sunfire. Witht the Hand's plan falling apart, Shishido reaches out in desperation to the Godkiller blade, knowing full well he will die if Amatsu-Mikaboshi possesses him. Just before he can grab the blade, Blindspot–revealing he was a spy for the Chaste–kills Shishido and Logan shatters the cursed sword with his claws. Thinking the Hand are finally beaten, Logan, DD, Yukio, Ichiro, Sunfire, and Blindspot breathe a sigh of relief. However, Silver Samurai, hideously scarred by Sunfire's attack, emerges and plunges one of the shards of the Godkiller sword into his chest. Silver Samurai is possessed by Amatsu-Mikaboshi. Knowing that his host will die soon, Amatsu-Mikaboshi lunges at Logan, who orders DD to get everyone out of there. Logan and the possessed Silver Samurai engage in a final, epic battle ending with Logan beheading the vile demon who murdered his family so long ago with the Grasscutter blade.
   
9. Epilogue - Logan thanks DD for his help as DD heads back to NYC. Yukio offers Blindspot a position at SHIELD, he rejects it, saying he is the last member of the Chaste and must continue their legacy and protect the Grasscutter blade. The story is wrapped up with Logan comforting Shiro about his mutant powers (and possibly mentioning that he knows a school for kids like him?). Logan thinks back to his wife, Mariko, and his daughter, Amiko, and he smiles.
   
10. PCS - Then we would add any necessary PCS set-up for the next project
    

Okay… that was a lot… thoughts?

It's great. My only problem with the DD rep is that he wouldn't be startled by Fury entering the court because he could hear him coming. It's a really small detail though, other than that it's good. Also, if possible, I think Blindspot should die because if he doesn't it would raise questions about his presence or lack thereof in future DD stuff

-MarvelComics- wrote:

DerpyPig03 wrote:

Alright, here it is… the Outline and a preliminary Character List… bum bum bum…

CHARACTER LIST v1
Protagonists

• Logan
  
• Daredevil/Matt Murdock
  
• Yukio
  
• Mariko Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Amiko Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Shingen Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Ichiro Yashida
  
• Sunfire/Shiro Yashida
  
• Stick
  
• Blindspot/Samuel Chung (member of the Hand, who is secretly a spy for the Chaste)
  

Antagonists

• The Chaos King/Amatsu-Mikaboshi
  
• The Silver Samurai/Keniuchio Yashida
  
• Tomi Shishido
  
• Lady Deathstrike
  
• The Black Tarantula
  
• Muramasa (prologue only)
  

OUTLINE v1

1. Prologue - Similar to the opening of the first Peter Jackson LOTR film, we begin with Mariko telling the story of the origins of the Hand and the Chaste. How Amatsu-Mikaboshi is a monstrous demon who has been imprisoned since the birth of the universe, a demon the Hand worship and seek to free. To do so, the Hand's founder, Muramasa, forged a blade of pure darkness, the Godkiller, to free Amatsu-Mikaboshi's spirit. To stop them, the Chaste formed and forged their own blade of pure light, the Grasscutter. With the Grasscutter, the Chaste killed Muramasa, stopped Amatsu-Mikaboshi from being freed, and stole the Godkiller blade to guard it for all eternity
   
2. Hiroshima, 1945 - We abruptly cut to Logan fighting in Japan during WWII. He gets captured by Japanese soldiers just as the atomic bomb is dropped. Logan saves the Japanese soldiers and uses his healing factor to brave the blast to save a trapped older soldier, Shingen
   Opening Credits and Title Card
   
3. Present Day - Picking up from the Heatwave PCS, Logan gets called to Japan by Ichiro and the move gets going.
   
4. Act One - From this point on, we will cut between Present Day and Logan's past in Japan, for simplicity sake, I will summarize the events of each separately.
   
5. Summary of Flashback Scenes - Because Logan saved Shingen from the a-bomb, Shingen becomes friends with Logan and introduces him to his daughter, Mariko. Logan and Mariko fall in love and get married. Mariko's brother, Keniuchio is outraged that they have brought an Westerner into the family. Keniuchio threatens to kill Logan, but Logan and Mariko move on with their lives and have a daughter, Amiko. A few years later (probably ‘53-’54 by now) Amiko is a young girl and, for the first time in his life, Logan is happy. Keniuchio returns and kills Shingen, his father, and claims the family's ancient keepsake, the Godkiller blade. Horrified when hearing of the news, Mariko explains that Shingen was a member of the Chaste and the importance of the Godkiller blade. Logan insists to Mariko that he must find Keniuchio and stop him. Logan finds Keniuchio, who has donned his family's ancestral Silver Samurai armor, Logan tries to talk to him, but Keniuchio insists on battling to the death. The two battle, Keniuchio explains that Logan has destroyed his family's honor, and for that he will make Logan suffer. Logan cracks a joke about his healing factor and not being able to suffer. Keniuchio, with a sick grin, says he will not destroy Logan with physical pain. Logan, in a shock of horror, realizes he left Mariko and Amiko alone. Logan hurls Keniuchio and the Godkiller blade out of a window and rushes home. Logan returns to find his home and ashes and his wife and daughter dead. Logan crumbles to the ground, weeps, and screams into the sky
   
6. Summary of Present Day Scenes - Logan flies to Japan and meets the mysterious Yukio on the plane. Logan arrives in Japan and is attacked by Hand Warriors. Logan finds that by some black magick, the warriors cannot be killed unless they are stabbed in the head. Logan meets up with the one who called him to Japan, Ichiro, whose is an ex-PSIA agent and Mariko's nephew. Ichiro's explains his son, Shiro, has been kidnapped by a crime lord named Shishido. Logan agrees to help rescue Shiro. Logan and Ichiro head to Tokyo where they interrogate on of Shishido's accomplices, the Black Tarantula, to learn Shishido's base of operations is in Kyoto. In Tokyo, the pair also recruit Yukio, who is revealed to be an old friend of Ichiro and a SHIELD agent. The trio arrve in Kyoto, where they must fend off dozens of Hand Warriors led by Lady Deathstrike. An epic battle ensues, with Logan killing Deathstrike. The group finally meets Shishido, who reveals himself as the new leader of the Hand. The group also meets Shishido's right-hand man… plot twist… it's Keniuchio!!! He was kept young through the Hand's dark magic. The Hand has the Godkiller sword but can't use it because Amatsu-Mikaboshi is so destructive that he would instantly kill any host, even their dark magic cannot combat it. Shishido reveals they captured Shiro to lure Logan there to use Logan as Amatsu-Mikaboshi's new host. Logan, Yukio, and Ichiro battle Shishido, Keniuchio, and another Hand warrior, Blindspot, over the fate of Logan and Shiro. Logan gives himself up to allow Yukio, Ichiro, and Shiro to escape. Alone, Logan is given the Godkiller blade and possessed by Amatsu-Mikaboshi.
   
7. Act Two - At this point, the flashbacks are over and the rest of the movie is present day. Yukio reports all that happened to Director Fury. Meanwhile, possessed Wolverine (whom I will refer to as Hellverine for simplicity sake) launches an attack against the Chaste to destroy the Grasscutter blade, the only thing that can stop him. We cut to Matt Murdock in court, who is startled by the sudden arrival of Fury in the courtroom. Matt calls for a recess to talk with Fury, who explains the situation. Matt explains his connection to the Chaste (through his old mentor, Stick) and heads out to the Chaste's secret sanctuary. Hellverine and the Hand attack the Chaste and have an epic battle with Stick and the Chaste warriors. The Hand is triumphant and destroy the Grasscutter blade. Daredevil meets up with Yukio and the two arrive the find the Chaste's hideout in ruins. DD finds Stick dying. In his dying breath, Stick explains that the Grasscutter sword that Hand destroyed was a dummy and directs DD to the real sword
   
8. Act Three - DD and Yukio launch an attack on the Hand's sanctuary as Hellverine begins eclipsing Japan into supernatural darkness. While Yukio fends off Shishido and Blindspot, DD and Hellverine have an epic battle with the Grasscutter and Godkiller in hand. DD manages to stab Hellverine with the Grasscutter, driving out Amatsu-Mikaboshi. The Godkiller clatters to the floor as Logan regains his senses. Logan reaches out to slice up the Godkiller, but is halted by Silver Samurai. Silver Samurai reveals he has captured Ichiro and Shiro, he cackles to Logan and announces that this will be the second time he has killed Logan's family. It is in this moment, Ichiro and Shiro realize Logan is their ancestor (Ichiro's uncle). The stress causes Shiro's mutant gene to be activated and he transforms into Sunfire. Witht the Hand's plan falling apart, Shishido reaches out in desperation to the Godkiller blade, knowing full well he will die if Amatsu-Mikaboshi possesses him. Just before he can grab the blade, Blindspot–revealing he was a spy for the Chaste–kills Shishido and Logan shatters the cursed sword with his claws. Thinking the Hand are finally beaten, Logan, DD, Yukio, Ichiro, Sunfire, and Blindspot breathe a sigh of relief. However, Silver Samurai, hideously scarred by Sunfire's attack, emerges and plunges one of the shards of the Godkiller sword into his chest. Silver Samurai is possessed by Amatsu-Mikaboshi. Knowing that his host will die soon, Amatsu-Mikaboshi lunges at Logan, who orders DD to get everyone out of there. Logan and the possessed Silver Samurai engage in a final, epic battle ending with Logan beheading the vile demon who murdered his family so long ago with the Grasscutter blade.
   
9. Epilogue - Logan thanks DD for his help as DD heads back to NYC. Yukio offers Blindspot a position at SHIELD, he rejects it, saying he is the last member of the Chaste and must continue their legacy and protect the Grasscutter blade. The story is wrapped up with Logan comforting Shiro about his mutant powers (and possibly mentioning that he knows a school for kids like him?). Logan thinks back to his wife, Mariko, and his daughter, Amiko, and he smiles.
   
10. PCS - Then we would add any necessary PCS set-up for the next project
    

Okay… that was a lot… thoughts?

It's great. My only problem with the DD rep is that he wouldn't be startled by Fury entering the court because he could hear him coming. It's a really small detail though, other than that it's good. Also, if possible, I think Blindspot should die because if he doesn't it would raise questions about his presence or lack thereof in future DD stuff

“Startled” was a poor word choice. More like “what in the world is Nick Fury doing here?”. The reason he calls a recess is because he's thinking “If Nick Fury is here, this must be important.” That was what I had intended
As for Blindspot, I would not be opposed to killing him

DerpyPig03 wrote:

-MarvelComics- wrote:

DerpyPig03 wrote:

Alright, here it is… the Outline and a preliminary Character List… bum bum bum…

CHARACTER LIST v1
Protagonists

• Logan
  
• Daredevil/Matt Murdock
  
• Yukio
  
• Mariko Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Amiko Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Shingen Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Ichiro Yashida
  
• Sunfire/Shiro Yashida
  
• Stick
  
• Blindspot/Samuel Chung (member of the Hand, who is secretly a spy for the Chaste)
  

Antagonists

• The Chaos King/Amatsu-Mikaboshi
  
• The Silver Samurai/Keniuchio Yashida
  
• Tomi Shishido
  
• Lady Deathstrike
  
• The Black Tarantula
  
• Muramasa (prologue only)
  

OUTLINE v1

1. Prologue - Similar to the opening of the first Peter Jackson LOTR film, we begin with Mariko telling the story of the origins of the Hand and the Chaste. How Amatsu-Mikaboshi is a monstrous demon who has been imprisoned since the birth of the universe, a demon the Hand worship and seek to free. To do so, the Hand's founder, Muramasa, forged a blade of pure darkness, the Godkiller, to free Amatsu-Mikaboshi's spirit. To stop them, the Chaste formed and forged their own blade of pure light, the Grasscutter. With the Grasscutter, the Chaste killed Muramasa, stopped Amatsu-Mikaboshi from being freed, and stole the Godkiller blade to guard it for all eternity
   
2. Hiroshima, 1945 - We abruptly cut to Logan fighting in Japan during WWII. He gets captured by Japanese soldiers just as the atomic bomb is dropped. Logan saves the Japanese soldiers and uses his healing factor to brave the blast to save a trapped older soldier, Shingen
   Opening Credits and Title Card
   
3. Present Day - Picking up from the Heatwave PCS, Logan gets called to Japan by Ichiro and the move gets going.
   
4. Act One - From this point on, we will cut between Present Day and Logan's past in Japan, for simplicity sake, I will summarize the events of each separately.
   
5. Summary of Flashback Scenes - Because Logan saved Shingen from the a-bomb, Shingen becomes friends with Logan and introduces him to his daughter, Mariko. Logan and Mariko fall in love and get married. Mariko's brother, Keniuchio is outraged that they have brought an Westerner into the family. Keniuchio threatens to kill Logan, but Logan and Mariko move on with their lives and have a daughter, Amiko. A few years later (probably ‘53-’54 by now) Amiko is a young girl and, for the first time in his life, Logan is happy. Keniuchio returns and kills Shingen, his father, and claims the family's ancient keepsake, the Godkiller blade. Horrified when hearing of the news, Mariko explains that Shingen was a member of the Chaste and the importance of the Godkiller blade. Logan insists to Mariko that he must find Keniuchio and stop him. Logan finds Keniuchio, who has donned his family's ancestral Silver Samurai armor, Logan tries to talk to him, but Keniuchio insists on battling to the death. The two battle, Keniuchio explains that Logan has destroyed his family's honor, and for that he will make Logan suffer. Logan cracks a joke about his healing factor and not being able to suffer. Keniuchio, with a sick grin, says he will not destroy Logan with physical pain. Logan, in a shock of horror, realizes he left Mariko and Amiko alone. Logan hurls Keniuchio and the Godkiller blade out of a window and rushes home. Logan returns to find his home and ashes and his wife and daughter dead. Logan crumbles to the ground, weeps, and screams into the sky
   
6. Summary of Present Day Scenes - Logan flies to Japan and meets the mysterious Yukio on the plane. Logan arrives in Japan and is attacked by Hand Warriors. Logan finds that by some black magick, the warriors cannot be killed unless they are stabbed in the head. Logan meets up with the one who called him to Japan, Ichiro, whose is an ex-PSIA agent and Mariko's nephew. Ichiro's explains his son, Shiro, has been kidnapped by a crime lord named Shishido. Logan agrees to help rescue Shiro. Logan and Ichiro head to Tokyo where they interrogate on of Shishido's accomplices, the Black Tarantula, to learn Shishido's base of operations is in Kyoto. In Tokyo, the pair also recruit Yukio, who is revealed to be an old friend of Ichiro and a SHIELD agent. The trio arrve in Kyoto, where they must fend off dozens of Hand Warriors led by Lady Deathstrike. An epic battle ensues, with Logan killing Deathstrike. The group finally meets Shishido, who reveals himself as the new leader of the Hand. The group also meets Shishido's right-hand man… plot twist… it's Keniuchio!!! He was kept young through the Hand's dark magic. The Hand has the Godkiller sword but can't use it because Amatsu-Mikaboshi is so destructive that he would instantly kill any host, even their dark magic cannot combat it. Shishido reveals they captured Shiro to lure Logan there to use Logan as Amatsu-Mikaboshi's new host. Logan, Yukio, and Ichiro battle Shishido, Keniuchio, and another Hand warrior, Blindspot, over the fate of Logan and Shiro. Logan gives himself up to allow Yukio, Ichiro, and Shiro to escape. Alone, Logan is given the Godkiller blade and possessed by Amatsu-Mikaboshi.
   
7. Act Two - At this point, the flashbacks are over and the rest of the movie is present day. Yukio reports all that happened to Director Fury. Meanwhile, possessed Wolverine (whom I will refer to as Hellverine for simplicity sake) launches an attack against the Chaste to destroy the Grasscutter blade, the only thing that can stop him. We cut to Matt Murdock in court, who is startled by the sudden arrival of Fury in the courtroom. Matt calls for a recess to talk with Fury, who explains the situation. Matt explains his connection to the Chaste (through his old mentor, Stick) and heads out to the Chaste's secret sanctuary. Hellverine and the Hand attack the Chaste and have an epic battle with Stick and the Chaste warriors. The Hand is triumphant and destroy the Grasscutter blade. Daredevil meets up with Yukio and the two arrive the find the Chaste's hideout in ruins. DD finds Stick dying. In his dying breath, Stick explains that the Grasscutter sword that Hand destroyed was a dummy and directs DD to the real sword
   
8. Act Three - DD and Yukio launch an attack on the Hand's sanctuary as Hellverine begins eclipsing Japan into supernatural darkness. While Yukio fends off Shishido and Blindspot, DD and Hellverine have an epic battle with the Grasscutter and Godkiller in hand. DD manages to stab Hellverine with the Grasscutter, driving out Amatsu-Mikaboshi. The Godkiller clatters to the floor as Logan regains his senses. Logan reaches out to slice up the Godkiller, but is halted by Silver Samurai. Silver Samurai reveals he has captured Ichiro and Shiro, he cackles to Logan and announces that this will be the second time he has killed Logan's family. It is in this moment, Ichiro and Shiro realize Logan is their ancestor (Ichiro's uncle). The stress causes Shiro's mutant gene to be activated and he transforms into Sunfire. Witht the Hand's plan falling apart, Shishido reaches out in desperation to the Godkiller blade, knowing full well he will die if Amatsu-Mikaboshi possesses him. Just before he can grab the blade, Blindspot–revealing he was a spy for the Chaste–kills Shishido and Logan shatters the cursed sword with his claws. Thinking the Hand are finally beaten, Logan, DD, Yukio, Ichiro, Sunfire, and Blindspot breathe a sigh of relief. However, Silver Samurai, hideously scarred by Sunfire's attack, emerges and plunges one of the shards of the Godkiller sword into his chest. Silver Samurai is possessed by Amatsu-Mikaboshi. Knowing that his host will die soon, Amatsu-Mikaboshi lunges at Logan, who orders DD to get everyone out of there. Logan and the possessed Silver Samurai engage in a final, epic battle ending with Logan beheading the vile demon who murdered his family so long ago with the Grasscutter blade.
   
9. Epilogue - Logan thanks DD for his help as DD heads back to NYC. Yukio offers Blindspot a position at SHIELD, he rejects it, saying he is the last member of the Chaste and must continue their legacy and protect the Grasscutter blade. The story is wrapped up with Logan comforting Shiro about his mutant powers (and possibly mentioning that he knows a school for kids like him?). Logan thinks back to his wife, Mariko, and his daughter, Amiko, and he smiles.
   
10. PCS - Then we would add any necessary PCS set-up for the next project
    

Okay… that was a lot… thoughts?

It's great. My only problem with the DD rep is that he wouldn't be startled by Fury entering the court because he could hear him coming. It's a really small detail though, other than that it's good. Also, if possible, I think Blindspot should die because if he doesn't it would raise questions about his presence or lack thereof in future DD stuff

“Startled” was a poor word choice. More like “what in the world is Nick Fury doing here?”. The reason he calls a recess is because he's thinking “If Nick Fury is here, this must be important.” That was what I had intended
As for Blindspot, I would not be opposed to killing him

Alright, that's good.

DerpyPig03 wrote:

Alright, here it is… the Outline and a preliminary Character List… bum bum bum…

Amazing outline! I don't have any feedback at the moment, but I'll tell you if I think of anything.

DerpyPig03 wrote:

Alright, here it is… the Outline and a preliminary Character List… bum bum bum…

CHARACTER LIST v1
Protagonists

• Logan
  
• Daredevil/Matt Murdock
  
• Yukio
  
• Mariko Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Amiko Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Shingen Yashida (flashbacks only)
  
• Ichiro Yashida
  
• Sunfire/Shiro Yashida
  
• Stick
  
• Blindspot/Samuel Chung (member of the Hand, who is secretly a spy for the Chaste)
  

Antagonists

• The Chaos King/Amatsu-Mikaboshi
  
• The Silver Samurai/Keniuchio Yashida
  
• Tomi Shishido
  
• Lady Deathstrike
  
• The Black Tarantula
  
• Muramasa (prologue only)
  

OUTLINE v1

1. Prologue - Similar to the opening of the first Peter Jackson LOTR film, we begin with Mariko telling the story of the origins of the Hand and the Chaste. How Amatsu-Mikaboshi is a monstrous demon who has been imprisoned since the birth of the universe, a demon the Hand worship and seek to free. To do so, the Hand's founder, Muramasa, forged a blade of pure darkness, the Godkiller, to free Amatsu-Mikaboshi's spirit. To stop them, the Chaste formed and forged their own blade of pure light, the Grasscutter. With the Grasscutter, the Chaste killed Muramasa, stopped Amatsu-Mikaboshi from being freed, and stole the Godkiller blade to guard it for all eternity
   
2. Hiroshima, 1945 - We abruptly cut to Logan fighting in Japan during WWII. He gets captured by Japanese soldiers just as the atomic bomb is dropped. Logan saves the Japanese soldiers and uses his healing factor to brave the blast to save a trapped older soldier, Shingen
   Opening Credits and Title Card
   
3. Present Day - Picking up from the Heatwave PCS, Logan gets called to Japan by Ichiro and the move gets going.
   
4. Act One - From this point on, we will cut between Present Day and Logan's past in Japan, for simplicity sake, I will summarize the events of each separately.
   
5. Summary of Flashback Scenes - Because Logan saved Shingen from the a-bomb, Shingen becomes friends with Logan and introduces him to his daughter, Mariko. Logan and Mariko fall in love and get married. Mariko's brother, Keniuchio is outraged that they have brought an Westerner into the family. Keniuchio threatens to kill Logan, but Logan and Mariko move on with their lives and have a daughter, Amiko. A few years later (probably ‘53-’54 by now) Amiko is a young girl and, for the first time in his life, Logan is happy. Keniuchio returns and kills Shingen, his father, and claims the family's ancient keepsake, the Godkiller blade. Horrified when hearing of the news, Mariko explains that Shingen was a member of the Chaste and the importance of the Godkiller blade. Logan insists to Mariko that he must find Keniuchio and stop him. Logan finds Keniuchio, who has donned his family's ancestral Silver Samurai armor, Logan tries to talk to him, but Keniuchio insists on battling to the death. The two battle, Keniuchio explains that Logan has destroyed his family's honor, and for that he will make Logan suffer. Logan cracks a joke about his healing factor and not being able to suffer. Keniuchio, with a sick grin, says he will not destroy Logan with physical pain. Logan, in a shock of horror, realizes he left Mariko and Amiko alone. Logan hurls Keniuchio and the Godkiller blade out of a window and rushes home. Logan returns to find his home and ashes and his wife and daughter dead. Logan crumbles to the ground, weeps, and screams into the sky
   
6. Summary of Present Day Scenes - Logan flies to Japan and meets the mysterious Yukio on the plane. Logan arrives in Japan and is attacked by Hand Warriors. Logan finds that by some black magick, the warriors cannot be killed unless they are stabbed in the head. Logan meets up with the one who called him to Japan, Ichiro, whose is an ex-PSIA agent and Mariko's nephew. Ichiro's explains his son, Shiro, has been kidnapped by a crime lord named Shishido. Logan agrees to help rescue Shiro. Logan and Ichiro head to Tokyo where they interrogate on of Shishido's accomplices, the Black Tarantula, to learn Shishido's base of operations is in Kyoto. In Tokyo, the pair also recruit Yukio, who is revealed to be an old friend of Ichiro and a SHIELD agent. The trio arrve in Kyoto, where they must fend off dozens of Hand Warriors led by Lady Deathstrike. An epic battle ensues, with Logan killing Deathstrike. The group finally meets Shishido, who reveals himself as the new leader of the Hand. The group also meets Shishido's right-hand man… plot twist… it's Keniuchio!!! He was kept young through the Hand's dark magic. The Hand has the Godkiller sword but can't use it because Amatsu-Mikaboshi is so destructive that he would instantly kill any host, even their dark magic cannot combat it. Shishido reveals they captured Shiro to lure Logan there to use Logan as Amatsu-Mikaboshi's new host. Logan, Yukio, and Ichiro battle Shishido, Keniuchio, and another Hand warrior, Blindspot, over the fate of Logan and Shiro. Logan gives himself up to allow Yukio, Ichiro, and Shiro to escape. Alone, Logan is given the Godkiller blade and possessed by Amatsu-Mikaboshi.
   
7. Act Two - At this point, the flashbacks are over and the rest of the movie is present day. Yukio reports all that happened to Director Fury. Meanwhile, possessed Wolverine (whom I will refer to as Hellverine for simplicity sake) launches an attack against the Chaste to destroy the Grasscutter blade, the only thing that can stop him. We cut to Matt Murdock in court, who is startled by the sudden arrival of Fury in the courtroom. Matt calls for a recess to talk with Fury, who explains the situation. Matt explains his connection to the Chaste (through his old mentor, Stick) and heads out to the Chaste's secret sanctuary. Hellverine and the Hand attack the Chaste and have an epic battle with Stick and the Chaste warriors. The Hand is triumphant and destroy the Grasscutter blade. Daredevil meets up with Yukio and the two arrive the find the Chaste's hideout in ruins. DD finds Stick dying. In his dying breath, Stick explains that the Grasscutter sword that Hand destroyed was a dummy and directs DD to the real sword
   
8. Act Three - DD and Yukio launch an attack on the Hand's sanctuary as Hellverine begins eclipsing Japan into supernatural darkness. While Yukio fends off Shishido and Blindspot, DD and Hellverine have an epic battle with the Grasscutter and Godkiller in hand. DD manages to stab Hellverine with the Grasscutter, driving out Amatsu-Mikaboshi. The Godkiller clatters to the floor as Logan regains his senses. Logan reaches out to slice up the Godkiller, but is halted by Silver Samurai. Silver Samurai reveals he has captured Ichiro and Shiro, he cackles to Logan and announces that this will be the second time he has killed Logan's family. It is in this moment, Ichiro and Shiro realize Logan is their ancestor (Ichiro's uncle). The stress causes Shiro's mutant gene to be activated and he transforms into Sunfire. Witht the Hand's plan falling apart, Shishido reaches out in desperation to the Godkiller blade, knowing full well he will die if Amatsu-Mikaboshi possesses him. Just before he can grab the blade, Blindspot–revealing he was a spy for the Chaste–kills Shishido and Logan shatters the cursed sword with his claws. Thinking the Hand are finally beaten, Logan, DD, Yukio, Ichiro, Sunfire, and Blindspot breathe a sigh of relief. However, Silver Samurai, hideously scarred by Sunfire's attack, emerges and plunges one of the shards of the Godkiller sword into his chest. Silver Samurai is possessed by Amatsu-Mikaboshi. Knowing that his host will die soon, Amatsu-Mikaboshi lunges at Logan, who orders DD to get everyone out of there. Logan and the possessed Silver Samurai engage in a final, epic battle ending with Logan beheading the vile demon who murdered his family so long ago with the Grasscutter blade.
   
9. Epilogue - Logan thanks DD for his help as DD heads back to NYC. Yukio offers Blindspot a position at SHIELD, he rejects it, saying he is the last member of the Chaste and must continue their legacy and protect the Grasscutter blade. The story is wrapped up with Logan comforting Shiro about his mutant powers (and possibly mentioning that he knows a school for kids like him?). Logan thinks back to his wife, Mariko, and his daughter, Amiko, and he smiles.
   
10. PCS - Then we would add any necessary PCS set-up for the next project
    

Okay… that was a lot… thoughts?

Wow! That's great!!!! I think the X-Men tease in the epilogue works, but you'd have to consult with Monsoon.

Thanks for the feedback everyone! I'll get to actually writing the thing

… man… if i had a dollar for everytime I'm gonna type “amatsu-mikaboshi”… jeez…

DerpyPig03 wrote:

Thanks for the feedback everyone! I'll get to actually writing the thing

Derpy this story is amazing! Very excited to direct this, and I’m excited to see the script!

AnimatorsParadise wrote:

DerpyPig03 wrote:

Alright, here it is… the Outline and a preliminary Character List… bum bum bum…

Amazing outline! I don't have any feedback at the moment, but I'll tell you if I think of anything.

The only thing I can think of is that some parts might be too dark for Scratch, but otherwise it's fine.

AnimatorsParadise wrote:

AnimatorsParadise wrote:

DerpyPig03 wrote:

Alright, here it is… the Outline and a preliminary Character List… bum bum bum…

Amazing outline! I don't have any feedback at the moment, but I'll tell you if I think of anything.

The only thing I can think of is that some parts might be too dark for Scratch, but otherwise it's fine.

That is a very good point… the violence issue can be solved by simply not showing anything violent. The thematic issue of Logan's family's death (which I would say is the darkest part)… that's tougher…

If anyone has any ideas on how to tone that down effectively, let me know

DerpyPig03 wrote:

AnimatorsParadise wrote:

AnimatorsParadise wrote:

DerpyPig03 wrote:

Alright, here it is… the Outline and a preliminary Character List… bum bum bum…

Amazing outline! I don't have any feedback at the moment, but I'll tell you if I think of anything.

The only thing I can think of is that some parts might be too dark for Scratch, but otherwise it's fine.

That is a very good point… the violence issue can be solved by simply not showing anything violent. The thematic issue of Logan's family's death (which I would say is the darkest part)… that's tougher…

If anyone has any ideas on how to tone that down effectively, let me know

The only thing story-wise I would say it to elongate Act 2 a bit more. Move some of the flashback/present day-parallel scenes around so that Act One isn't exposition heavy. Sprinkle them throughout.

Monsoon_Man wrote:

DerpyPig03 wrote:

AnimatorsParadise wrote:

AnimatorsParadise wrote:

DerpyPig03 wrote:

Alright, here it is… the Outline and a preliminary Character List… bum bum bum…

Amazing outline! I don't have any feedback at the moment, but I'll tell you if I think of anything.

The only thing I can think of is that some parts might be too dark for Scratch, but otherwise it's fine.

That is a very good point… the violence issue can be solved by simply not showing anything violent. The thematic issue of Logan's family's death (which I would say is the darkest part)… that's tougher…

If anyone has any ideas on how to tone that down effectively, let me know

The only thing story-wise I would say it to elongate Act 2 a bit more. Move some of the flashback/present day-parallel scenes around so that Act One isn't exposition heavy. Sprinkle them throughout.

Yeah, I am trying very hard to avoid exposition. As of now, there only two parts of the script that include bulky exposition. The opening scene with Mariko storytelling and the flashback scene where Mariko explains to Logan who the Hand are. Other than those two, I am trying to avoid exposition like the plague