What are some funny programming/mathematical jokes?

joefarebrother

I'll start off with the classic:

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

DigiTechs

And then, there were those who understood ternary and thought it were a ternary joke.

-

Why do Java programmers wear glasses? Because they can't C#

joefarebrother

And those who thought it was a base 4 joke

And those who thought it was a base 5 joke

…

And those who thought it was a base n joke

jokebookservice1

How about this programming joke:

Two strings walk into a bar.
The first string says “Can I have a befcghjkfdjtdfghjkjytfdfghjklkjff”
The second string says "Excuse my friend, (s)he isn't null terminated

And this one

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one orders a pint.
The next, half a pint.
The next, a quarter of a pint.
The next, an eight of a pint.
….
Eventually, the barman places two pints, and says "You mathematicians, you just don't know your limits.

Not strictly funny, but they are alright

Last edited by jokebookservice1 (June 14, 2016 16:46:33)

BKFighter

joefarebrother wrote:
I'll start off with the classic:

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

@BlazinIce commented a better version on my profile:
“There's 11 types of people: Ppl who understand binary, ppl who don't, and ppl who think they do and are still waiting for 8 others”

joefarebrother

BKFighter wrote:
joefarebrother wrote:
I'll start off with the classic:

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
@BlazinIce commented a better version on my profile:
“There's 11 types of people: Ppl who understand binary, ppl who don't, and ppl who think they do and are still waiting for 8 others”

Lol, I haven't heard that version before!

joefarebrother

jokebookservice1 wrote:
An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one orders a pint.
The next, half a pint.
The next, a quarter of a pint.
The next, an eight of a pint.
….
Eventually, the barman places two pints, and says "You mathematicians, you just don't know you're limits.

I like the variant of that one involving a divergent geometric series:

Am infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one orders a pint.
The next, two pints
The next, four pints
The next, eight pints
…
Eventually the bartender says “Right, you guys owe me a pint”

jokebookservice1

joefarebrother wrote:
jokebookservice1 wrote:
An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one orders a pint.
The next, half a pint.
The next, a quarter of a pint.
The next, an eight of a pint.
….
Eventually, the barman places two pints, and says "You mathematicians, you just don't know you're limits.

I like the variant of that one involving a divergent geometric series:

Am infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one orders a pint.
The next, two pints
The next, four pints
The next, eight pints
…
Eventually the bartender says “Right, you guys owe me a pint”

Gosh, that ones really good

Icey29

http://cplusplusisforchumps.tech
Found this on Reddit. It is glorious.

Last edited by Icey29 (May 19, 2016 21:58:16)

DrKat123

Why did Microsoft sue Stallman?

Because they're tired of the open source GNUisance

*ba dumb tss*

joefarebrother

Firedrake969

Math is hard.
So is life.
Get over it.

jokebookservice1

Firedrake969 wrote:
Math is hard.
So is life.
Get over it.

Somebody had to say it, it was driving me crazy

Last edited by jokebookservice1 (May 19, 2016 22:59:24)

Jonathan50

Icey29 wrote:
http://cplusplusisforchumps.tech
Found this on Reddit. It is glorious.

So true

DrKat123

Why is bitwise operators very old?

Because they are wise and that means they must be old!

bobbybee

Real programmers write somewhat-ironic original jokes… in vim!

DrKat123

bobbybee wrote:
Real programmers write somewhat-ironic original jokes… in vim!

Real programmers use emacs to write puns

Last edited by DrKat123 (May 20, 2016 00:13:07)

BookOwl

LISP - Lots of Infuriating Superfluous Parentheses

DrKat123

BookOwl wrote:
LISP - Lots of Infuriating Superfluous Parentheses

At lisp that was funny

bobbybee

GNU EMACS: Generally Not Used, Except by Middle Aged Computer Scientists

Discuss Scratch