What are some funny programming/mathematical jokes?

joefarebrother

I'll start off with the classic:

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

And it was delicious! Play TBGs! Check out my Scheme Interpreter!
;

DigiTechs

And then, there were those who understood ternary and thought it were a ternary joke.

-

Why do Java programmers wear glasses? Because they can't C#

I do, in fact, have my own site; it's here.
I'm also working on a thing called Fetch. Look at it here!
@thisandagain pls explain. @thisandagain pls explain. @thisandagain pls explain. @thisandagain pls explain. @thisandagain pls explain.

joefarebrother

And those who thought it was a base 4 joke

And those who thought it was a base 5 joke

…

And those who thought it was a base n joke

And it was delicious! Play TBGs! Check out my Scheme Interpreter!
;

jokebookservice1

How about this programming joke:

Two strings walk into a bar.
The first string says “Can I have a befcghjkfdjtdfghjkjytfdfghjklkjff”
The second string says "Excuse my friend, (s)he isn't null terminated

And this one

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one orders a pint.
The next, half a pint.
The next, a quarter of a pint.
The next, an eight of a pint.
….
Eventually, the barman places two pints, and says "You mathematicians, you just don't know your limits.

Not strictly funny, but they are alright

Last edited by jokebookservice1 (June 14, 2016 16:46:33)

BKFighter

joefarebrother wrote:
I'll start off with the classic:

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

@BlazinIce commented a better version on my profile:
“There's 11 types of people: Ppl who understand binary, ppl who don't, and ppl who think they do and are still waiting for 8 others”

Need a reason to check out my profile?
How about things like:
Simulators?
Games?
Amazing Creations?

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Created from processed Kumquat byproduct
Purchase for free* at this website! asdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfadfadfadadfasdfas;

joefarebrother

BKFighter wrote:
joefarebrother wrote:
I'll start off with the classic:

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
@BlazinIce commented a better version on my profile:
“There's 11 types of people: Ppl who understand binary, ppl who don't, and ppl who think they do and are still waiting for 8 others”

Lol, I haven't heard that version before!

And it was delicious! Play TBGs! Check out my Scheme Interpreter!
;

joefarebrother

jokebookservice1 wrote:
An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one orders a pint.
The next, half a pint.
The next, a quarter of a pint.
The next, an eight of a pint.
….
Eventually, the barman places two pints, and says "You mathematicians, you just don't know you're limits.

I like the variant of that one involving a divergent geometric series:

Am infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one orders a pint.
The next, two pints
The next, four pints
The next, eight pints
…
Eventually the bartender says “Right, you guys owe me a pint”

And it was delicious! Play TBGs! Check out my Scheme Interpreter!
;

jokebookservice1

joefarebrother wrote:
jokebookservice1 wrote:
An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one orders a pint.
The next, half a pint.
The next, a quarter of a pint.
The next, an eight of a pint.
….
Eventually, the barman places two pints, and says "You mathematicians, you just don't know you're limits.

I like the variant of that one involving a divergent geometric series:

Am infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one orders a pint.
The next, two pints
The next, four pints
The next, eight pints
…
Eventually the bartender says “Right, you guys owe me a pint”

Gosh, that ones really good

Icey29

http://cplusplusisforchumps.tech
Found this on Reddit. It is glorious.

Last edited by Icey29 (May 19, 2016 21:58:16)

DrKat123

Why did Microsoft sue Stallman?

Because they're tired of the open source GNUisance

*ba dumb tss*

Moving from Scratch? Don't learn C or Java, try Snap!
it haz OOP
DrKat McKatFace
First of all I'm 100% human and humans does not have a cat face
and second, the Boaty McBoatFace/Parsey McParseFace madness has just begun
λ
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joefarebrother

And it was delicious! Play TBGs! Check out my Scheme Interpreter!
;

Firedrake969

Math is hard.
So is life.
Get over it.

'17 rickoid

bf97b44a7fbd33db070f6ade2b7dc549

jokebookservice1

Firedrake969 wrote:
Math is hard.
So is life.
Get over it.

Somebody had to say it, it was driving me crazy

Last edited by jokebookservice1 (May 19, 2016 22:59:24)

Jonathan50

Icey29 wrote:
http://cplusplusisforchumps.tech
Found this on Reddit. It is glorious.

So true

Not yet a Knight of the Mu Calculus.

DrKat123

Why is bitwise operators very old?

Because they are wise and that means they must be old!

Moving from Scratch? Don't learn C or Java, try Snap!
it haz OOP
DrKat McKatFace
First of all I'm 100% human and humans does not have a cat face
and second, the Boaty McBoatFace/Parsey McParseFace madness has just begun
λ
Sharp, my new Scratch mod
Is my post/siggy worthy for an internet?

bobbybee

Real programmers write somewhat-ironic original jokes… in vim!

“Ooo, can I call you Señorita Bee?” ~Chibi-Matoran

DrKat123

bobbybee wrote:
Real programmers write somewhat-ironic original jokes… in vim!

Real programmers use emacs to write puns

Last edited by DrKat123 (May 20, 2016 00:13:07)

Moving from Scratch? Don't learn C or Java, try Snap!
it haz OOP
DrKat McKatFace
First of all I'm 100% human and humans does not have a cat face
and second, the Boaty McBoatFace/Parsey McParseFace madness has just begun
λ
Sharp, my new Scratch mod
Is my post/siggy worthy for an internet?

BookOwl

LISP - Lots of Infuriating Superfluous Parentheses

who needs signatures

DrKat123

BookOwl wrote:
LISP - Lots of Infuriating Superfluous Parentheses

At lisp that was funny

Moving from Scratch? Don't learn C or Java, try Snap!
it haz OOP
DrKat McKatFace
First of all I'm 100% human and humans does not have a cat face
and second, the Boaty McBoatFace/Parsey McParseFace madness has just begun
λ
Sharp, my new Scratch mod
Is my post/siggy worthy for an internet?

bobbybee

GNU EMACS: Generally Not Used, Except by Middle Aged Computer Scientists

“Ooo, can I call you Señorita Bee?” ~Chibi-Matoran

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